The Fae World: Adrian: Meeting Willow and Alder

[k_a_webb]

River smiled at Adrian, their eyes meeting over the coffee table, but it didn’t make him feel any more calm about meeting the Queen and her consort. Breathing deeply, glancing once more at the door he was expecting Willow and Alder to walk through, before sipping his almost empty coffee, trying to work out why they wanted to talk to him. Adrian didn’t feel special in any way. Even if he had he couldn’t understand why they would want to talk to him, considering what the majority of his family were like. Maybe not being like them, even though his father had tried his hardest to make Adrian into a carbon copy, was what made him special.

“They’ll be here soon,” River said, “but the council meeting went on longer than they were expecting it to. The elders found out about Naida being allowed into the school and they weren’t at all happy about it.”

“Mixed bloods have as much right to learn how to use their magic as everyone else.” Adrian sighed. “Naida needs to learn how to control her ability to create fire, so I hope she doesn’t end up getting asked to leave.”

“She won’t,” a female voice said from the door. “The school is mostly under our control, which is why Naida was permitted to enter in the first place, and we’re not going to let them bully us into doing what they think is right.”

Adrian looked over at her and did his best to smile at the Queen. Willow smiled back at him, crossing the room to where they were sitting, followed by Alder. Alder picked up one of the cold full mugs of coffee, swept his hand over it, and passed it to Willow.

“Thank you, love,” Willow said, sipping the coffee. “It’s been a difficult day, but I hope that you will make it a little better, Adrian.”

“How can I do that?” Adrian asked, watching as Willow kissed River on the cheek and sat down next to him.

Alder heated up the remaining mug of coffee before sitting next to Adrian. “We’ve been working on helping the mixed bloods out there,” Alder replied. “Within the wards we can make certain that those who need to learn how to control their abilities find their way into the school, one way or another, but it’s not so easy making sure that the mixed bloods outside the wards find the school.”

“The wards weren’t our idea,” Willow explained, sounding sad. “It was a compromise, because otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to set up the school in the first place, and we knew we needed it.”

“At the beginning, when we first came to Earth, there were a lot of compromises,” Alder continued. “Some were compromises between the fae and the humans, in order to stop any wars from happening, while others were between Willow and her elders.”

“I was luckier than I thought I was going to be.” Willow sipper her coffee again. “Alder was always on my side and when we arrived here a couple of the other elders realised I wasn’t the stupid girl they thought I was.”

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.

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[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>>Breathing deeply, glancing once more at the door he was expecting Willow and Alder to walk through, before sipping his almost empty coffee, trying to work out why they wanted to talk to him. <<

This is a sentence fragment comprised of many dependent clauses stacked together. I suggest breaking it down:

"Breathing deeply, Adrian glanced once more at the door he was expecting Willow and Alder to walk through. He sipped his almost empty coffee, trying to work out why they wanted to talk to him."

>>Alder picked up one of the cold full mugs of coffee, swept his hand over it, and passed it to Willow.<<

This is awkward. I suggest:

"Alder picked up one of the mugs full of cold coffee, swept his hand over it to warm it, and passed it to Willow."