The World Walkers: Quiar: The Case of the Counterfeit Enchantments: Part 2

[k_a_webb]

Part 1

Peric read the note the sheep inspector had sent him about a conversation she’d had with a seagull that morning. He was always grateful to have more information on the races of Sheepshank and knowing that the seagulls were getting more unhappy about being seen as guilty even when they weren’t did give him a chance to work out how to dispel racial tensions. There were a lot of seagulls selling fake charms, with the number seeming to increase by the day, but that didn’t make them all guilty, and sometimes they did make things worse for themselves by reacting badly. Sighing, he tapped his quill on the desk thoughtfully, trying to think of some way to fix the problem, preferably without actually having to talk with the traders. Often the seagulls still saw him as the enemy.

The most important thing to do, which would hopefully help the seagulls, was stop the counterfeits from entering Sheepshank. Peric knew the inspectors did their best, but it was hard to tell the difference between a true charm and a counterfeit that had been given a magical signature. Even he had problems when asked to compare the two, especially as whoever was making them seemed to be getting more skilled. Getting rid of all the counterfeits was his goal, because they were beginning to harm commerce in Sheepshank and that was something he didn’t like at all. They worked long and hard to be known as one of the best places to buy charms, so he was going to do everything he could to make sure they kept that.

Everyone bought charms. Peric purchased some every year, because he liked to give them out as presents, especially if he knew that they couldn’t afford to buy a charm themselves. Working on the council meant he had a little money to spare and the look on his niece’s face when he’d given her a luck charm had been worth it. The others were usually less expensive one use charms that were always seen as wonderful presents. Until he was certain that he’d put an end to the counterfeits he wasn’t going to buy any more charms and he was certain he wasn’t the only one to have made that decision.

Betram walked into the office, carrying more papers for Peric to look at. The mouse smiled up at the raven, who had become more than just a PA, and realised he was still tapping the quill Bertram had made him gently on the desk. For a moment they just looked at each other, Peric waiting for the question he knew was coming because Bertram knew all of the small things that showed his worry, including tapping his quill on the desk.

“Was it bad news?” Bertram asked, pointing his beak at the note Peric was holding.

“Sort of,” Peric replied, putting it down on the desk. “A Sheep inspector, and her partner, searched the wagon of a seagull this morning. The seagull told the Sheep of the anger that all the seagulls are feeling because of the treatment their getting and…” He shook his head. “It is understandable, Bertram. Every sees the seagulls as the most likely race in Sheepshank to sell counterfeit charms and if I was a seagull I think I’d be angry too. The problem is there are a number of seagulls who sell counterfeits, whether they know they are or not.”

Nodding, Bertram placed the papers on the desk. “Do we have any more information on who’s making them?”

“Not yet. I wish we did, because I want to do something about this problem, but there’s only so much I can do alone.” Peric sighed. “I hate knowing that there are counterfeits out there and no one will know that they aren’t true charms until they try to use them.”

“It might be worth having another chat with the seagulls,” Bertram said. “Now that they’re feeling angry about the treatment they’re getting they may want to talk about where the counterfeits are coming from.”

“The honest seagulls don’t know anything about the counterfeits and they’re the only ones who’ll talk to me. If I go anywhere near a dishonest one I worry they might try pecking my eyes out or something.”

“Well, I could visit the seagull traders, if you’re really that worried, and you could talk with some of the other traders. Unless we talk with everyone we don’t know who might have some information that we could use.” Bertram smiled. “Even the smallest clue could help, Peric, and I know you want to get out of this office.”

“What were the papers you brought in?” Peric asked, needing to know if they were important before he could leave the office.

“You have another reminder about the council meeting at the end of the week, a couple of notes from other inspectors who think you should know about the problems they’re having with the seagulls, and what looks like a letter from your brother.”

Peric didn’t bother to look at the reminder or the letter from his brother, but did pick up both the notes from the other inspectors. One was from a cornsnake who’d been attacked by an angry seagull and another was from a sheep who’d had a seagull arrested for having a wagon full of counterfeit charms. Shaking his head he passed both the notes onto Bertram.

“I hope that cornsnake is okay,” Betram said, sounding distressed. “I hate that so many innocent people are getting hurt by those counterfeits.”

“That’s why we’re going to get rid of them, Bertram. Then they can’t cause any more problems.” Peric hated to hear that someone had been hurt too, but he was more focused on the other reasons for getting rid of the counterfeits. “We should go and talk to the traders. At least we’ll know that we’ve tried to do something to put an end to the counterfeits, even if we don’t find out anything new.”

Bertram nodded. “It will be good to be doing something.”

Peric stood, using his hands to straighten his trousers because they’d become creased where he’d been sitting. He checked his reflection in the mirror he had on the wall and smiled when he saw Bertram doing the same thing, using his beak to make sure all his sparklies were attached. If Peric had a chance he’d buy Bertram a new sparkly to thank him for all the hard work he’d been doing. They made a good team and Peric was always grateful to have his faithful raven at his side.

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.

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[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>>Peric read the note the sheep inspector had sent him about a conversation she’d had with a seagull that morning. He was always grateful to have more information on the races of Sheepshank<<

You've got the gender marker early enough; a race marker for Peric would be helpful somewhere along here.

>> especially if he knew that they couldn’t afford to buy a charm themselves. <<

Vague antecedent; I suggest "the recipients" instead of "they."

>>The others were usually less expensive one use charms<<

You need a hyphen in "one-use" above.

>>Betram walked into the office<<

That should say "Bertram" above.

>>The mouse smiled up at the raven<<

Here's another reason to mark Peric as a mouse in the beginning of the post: without that, there's no clear way to tell which of them is which in the above phrase.

>>Peric waiting for the question he knew was coming because Bertram knew all of the small things that showed his worry, including tapping his quill on the desk.<<

This is such an awesome clue about their relationship. Also the body language in this episode is very well done. <3

>>because of the treatment their getting<<

That should say "they're" above.

>>Every sees the seagulls<<

That should say "everyone" above.

On the whole, I love this story. It's really fun to see the characters tackling the problem.