The Many Ramblings of K. A. Webb

“Just leave me alone,” Ceri growled, regretting it almost before the words had left her mouth. Sighing, she turned to look at Hunter. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap, but I need some time to think.”

Nodding, Hunter looked at her closely, and Ceri could see the worry in his eyes. “You know where I am if you need me,” he said, turning to walk away. He took three steps before glancing over his shoulder at her. “I…” Shaking his head, he ran a hand through his hair. “If I did anything wrong…”

“You haven’t done anything wrong.” Ceri walked over to Hunter, hating that she’d made him feel at fault, and rested a hand on his shoulder. “There are things I need to deal with before I can think seriously about making a life here.”

“I doubt you’re ever going to get home.”

“I can’t see it happening either, but there’s always a chance and…” Ceri shook her head. “I’m not even sure I’d want to go home, now, and sometimes I wish I didn’t feel like that, because I’m betraying everyone I left behind.”

“Why do you think you ended up here?” Hunter turned to look at her again, their eyes meeting. “I’ve heard stories of people travelling to a new world because their old one wasn’t right for them.”

Ceri smiled, sadly. “I’ve heard those stories too. There are also stories about people who were happy and accidentally found a door, which meant they had no choice but to start a new life.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know any more. When I first got here all I wanted to do was go back, but…”

“Things change.”

Nodding, Ceri sighed again. “Before I knew anyone it would have been an easy decision to make. Now I have friends here. I have…” She smiled at him, this time a slightly happier smile. “You could be more than a friend and I think that’s what’s affected me more than anything.”

“I want to apologise, but I don’t think you’d appreciate it.”

“I wouldn’t, because there’s no reason for you to apologise, Hunter. Nothing that happened is anyone’s fault.”

“If we’d never met…”

Shaking her head, Ceri reached out one hand and took hold of Hunter’s. “Ifs aren’t going to change anything. We did met and it did change things for me, but I don’t regret that things have changed.” She bit her lip. “I just want things to be simpler, which isn’t going to happen, and I need to get used to that.”

He smiled. “I don’t know what I’d do if I was in your situation, but I know I never would have dealt with is as well as you have.”

A bitter laugh escaped, even though Ceri tried to stop it. “Outwardly I may have been dealing with this well, but inside… I’m a mess, Hunter. There have been times when I just wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend that I was still at home.” An unexpected tear trickled down her cheek. “I lost everything, I gained more than I lost, and now I’m terrified that I’ll end up going back, even though a part of me really wants to get back to everything I left behind.”

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.