The year is nearly over and 2013 hasn’t been anywhere near as good as I hoped it would be, either personally or professional, although I have been taking some steps in the right direction. Honestly it’s been much worse personally, due to James’ medical issues, which haven’t been solved. At the beginning of last month he did seem to be getting a lot better, but now the pain’s returning, and he’s getting more stressed, so it’s really not been good. I did mention before that the specialist he saw wasn’t sure if the problem was one that could be fixed and with it coming back I’m more worried that the specialist was right, and I’m really not helping that worry by googling things. So once again we’re back in limbo, which isn’t great for either of us.
Even though James, as far as I know, has never visited my website, I’m not going to publicly post what his issue is, because it’s one of those things he’s not comfortable talking about, so I’m not going to make him uncomfortable by talking too much about it here. I am going to say that it makes it hard for him to walk, stand, or get into a comfortable seated position, and that means that all the things he likes to do are pretty much impossible for him at the moment. When things were getting better it seemed like he might be able to get back to normal, but now… I have a horrible feeling that we’re going to be looking at managing the condition rather than fixing it, when all he wants is for it to be gone for good, and I don’t blame him. Things are bad enough for me when my hips are bad – I can’t imagine what it must be like for him at the moment.
Unfortuately James can’t take any more time off work. We can’t afford it. To be honest I don’t really think he wants to either, because he hated taking so much time off, and sick pay can’t cover the rent. I can help now, thanks to the day care, but I’m not earning enough to be able to cover the rent and the groceries. By now I was hoping to be making a little income through the website and it hasn’t happened, so that’s something I need to be thinking about now, just in case things get bad enough that he has no choice. I’m just not sure what to do. Should I advertise more? Should I stop posting so much for free? I know I need to be finishing stories and that’s my aim at the moment, but there are days when I feel like there’s no reason for me to. There are people I know that read my work and I am so grateful to them, but I get so little input that I feel like I’m never going to be able to reach my goals when it comes to my writing.
For those of you who do read – thank you so much. I appreciate it, I really do, but it would be really great if I knew you were reading. I’m not after a comment on every post, I’m not after an essay on one, it would just be nice to know that your there and I’m not alone, because there are days when I’ve been feeling so down. James is dealing with too much to be able to help me with my issues, so having a comment to read from someone, on the website or one of the mirrors, would be wonderful. Getting a donation every so often would be even better, because I want to be earning a living from this, and right now that seems impossible.
My aim is to be earning £500 (approx. $800) a month here. I will be charging more for my words from the 1st of January 2014, going from £1.50 for 1000 words to £3.00, to see if that helps at all. Maybe it will make me seem like I’m taking this more seriously than I was before, even though I was already taking it seriously. My hope is to sell more commissions, adoptions, and rental. Commissions I take for my worlds or anyone else’s, so if you want me to write a story for you let me know, because I love writing for other people’s plots, although I’m not so good at word counts. (Take the Case of the Counterfeit Enchantments as an example of how the stories I write can stretch, thanks to the characters in them.) Adoptions and rentals are two of my favourite concepts, but very few people seem to be interested in them, and I don’t know why. Do I make them too difficult to understand? Are they just something that won’t sell well for some reason? Are they too expensive?
I have a feeling the next couple of months, at least, are going to be difficult, but I want to have all the prompted fiction completed by the end of the year, as well as my to-do list of writing, because I know I can do it. There are just days when I wake up feeling tired, like I have the whole world on my shoulders, and writing, as much as I love it, is one of the hardest things for me to do. One of the most annoying things about that is that writing is one of the few things that keeps me sane. When I don’t write I get much more stressed than I do when I am writing, but I’m still learning to work it around everything else that I do in a day. At the weekend I didn’t get as much done as I hoped because we have two puppy staffies here, but one of our regular visitors, a cocker spaniel who’s not a fan of scary big dogs, didn’t much like them, so I ended up sitting on the stairs with her for company. It was my choice, because she’s one of my favourites, but it wasn’t helpful when it came to getting much done. She’s gone home now, so I’m in the kitchen with the staffies, TillyBob’s in the lounge (our two dogs – who lay in the same bed and look like one dog with four legs and two heads – so they are known as the TillyBob), and our two long termers are in their secondary spot.
One of the long termers, who we’ve nicknamed Houdini, has a habit of escaping, so the seconday spot had been made into a place we hope he can’t get out of, especially as last time he ended up crossing the road to go to our local shop before someone, thankfully, took him to the vets. The annoying thing was he was by himself in the garden for maybe as long as five minutes and he disappeared in that amount of time, and to get out he needed to climb a six foot fence. It wasn’t the first time he’d done it, but it was the most worrying, so he’s someone we need to keep a very close eye on. He’s too smart for his own good.
Having all the dogs here is great. It is one of my dream jobs – because I’ve always loved dogs – but there are days when it’s not as much fun as others. Poor Teresa’s been spending most of her time walking dogs, so she’s shattered, and with Tilly being on high alert the other night I’m not feeling much better. Fortunately I don’t have to go out in the wet to walk everyone or shower the dogs, as she did this morning with Tilly and Bob, because they’ve got soaked while they were walking.
Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.