Advent Story 2014: The Magi: Silvana: The Winter Solstice (part 3)

[k_a_webb]

A.N. Software arrived today and I have been using it a little, but I’ve got a headache, so another short update today. Does anyone who transcribes anything have suggestions for desktop mikes for me? I can’t use ones with headphones, as they often give me a headache.

Part 1

Part 2

“Actually, I knew exactly how scared you were, because I could see it in your eyes. There was no doubting how you felt when you looked at me.” Kerilyn shrugged. “Sometimes I think you don’t know how well I knew you back then, even though we were in a very different sort of relationship, but then I can hardly be surprised by that. Why would you think I cared? I was nothing more than the woman who owned you.”

Silvana shook her head. “You were always more than that, Keri, but I couldn’t let you be.” Trying to explain it from her point of view was harder than she thought it would be, but she was certain she would find the words she needed. “I knew how you felt about me and if I reciprocated I knew things would be much more difficult for you. You… when you looked at me I could see the love in your eyes, so I had to keep my distance, had to try not to think about you as much as I did, had to back away as much as possible, because I knew it would hurt you a lot if I was sold to someone else due to the way you felt about me.” She sighed. “I couldn’t do anything else.”

“From my side it felt… I don’t want to make you feel guilty, because I understand why you did it, but all I felt then was hurt. There was a time when we were so close and then suddenly it was gone. Now that I know why it’s easier for me to look back and remember the moments when you gave me these apologetic looks that told me you weren’t doing it for the reasons I thought you were.” Kerilyn nibbled her lip. “You were doing what you thought was right and I don’t want to be angry with you for doing that. I hate that I sometimes still feel that, because you did hurt me during that time, and I think I hurt you, too.”

“You did, but I could understand why. It was a mess that I’m glad we’re out of. Sometimes, though, I can’t help thinking it would have been better for you to stay where you were, rather than coming with us. You’re going to be the first person to give birth out here and I’m scared for you.”

“Don’t be, love.” Kerilyn reached out and took Silvana’s hand. “I have the best midwife in the world to look after me and our baby.”

They’d already had the conversation about what they were going to do if one or the other of them decided they wanted another child. It had been a strange conversation, one they’d had in the middle of the night, but it was good to have it over with – they both knew where they stood. Silvana had known for a long time she could love more than one person and it was a relief to hear that Kerilyn wasn’t going to force her to be monogamous.

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.