The World Walkers: Aerith: Madison: Loss

[k_a_webb]

The day it had happened changed Madison’s life forever, yet it was something that wouldn’t affect anyone else. They were just another loss during the hard snows. A loss that was expected, by everyone but her. Pure bad luck had stolen her parents from her, because the hard snows had come early, and she found herself in the same place her parents had grown up – the orphanage. She’d been left alone in their cottage, making the supplies she had last as best she could, but with every day that passed she found herself closer to the day she’d have to start her new life, as she had no other options. It really was hard to believe that she was in the same position as her parents and, as she looked at herself in the mirror in one of the girl’s bathrooms, there were still days when she thought they might come for her, because their bodies hadn’t been found. Unfortunately that wasn’t an unusual occurrence.

Sighing, Madison pulled her brush through her hair one last time. They’d given her some time to come to terms with it all, as though that was possible, but that was over. It didn’t matter to them that she couldn’t accept that her parents really were gone, it didn’t matter that she was still clinging to the hope that they’d found somewhere safe and were making their way back, because, like all the other orphans, it was time for them to move on, to start their new lives, no matter how hard it was. Finally, wishing once more for things to go back the way they were before, she left the bathroom behind.

At the end of the hard snow Madison knew it wouldn’t be long before someone found her. For longer than she expected she’d thought about running, but she knew she wouldn’t survive out there alone, especially as she didn’t have anything to take with her. Her parents had taken the money with them, to buy the supplies they needed to see the whole family through the hard snows, so she really didn’t have any other option but to wait, the same way numerous other new orphans were, for them to find her and take her somewhere she’d be looked after. The council would keep the cottage for her until she came of age, which was only two years away, and she kept hold of that thought. She’d only be there for a little while before she could have her life back again.

Of course being an orphan changed things. Every day Madison was there she was running up charges. Her room, her food, her studies… she’d be paying them off for years, the same way her parents had been, and she was sure that their remaining debt would to added to hers. Unless she was adopted. For older orphans that was something that almost never happened. The younger ones often found themselves another family, but occasionally they’d find themselves back where they started years later, because they lost their adopted parents to the hard snows the same way they lost their birth parents.

Doing her best to seem confident Madison made her way to her first class. Fortunately there were some advantages to being at the orphanage and one of those was being able to go to school every day of the year, rather than having to be home schooled during the hard snows, because neither of her parents had understood her need to learn. She couldn’t help thinking that it was being forced to learn that had made them the way they were, but it wasn’t something she’d ever be able to talk to them about. There had been so many questions that she’d wanted to ask them, questions she’d put off asking until she was older, and she’d never have a chance to ask them. Blinking tears away she walked into her first class, telling herself sternly that she had to focus. Focusing just wasn’t that easy.

It felt like it had been no time at all since she realised, because there was no other explanation, her parents were dead. Madison couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact the hard snows had started over three moons ago, that the next hard snows were six moons away, that she’d been alone for that long and would continue to be alone for the rest of her life. She’d always said she wouldn’t have children, so they’d never end up in the position she was in. Leaving them, even though it wouldn’t be her choice, would change their lives, and, having been unlucky enough to go through it herself, she was even more certain than she had been before.

Her fellow students ranged from fourteen to eighteen. They all seemed more at ease than she thought she would ever be. Even though she’d tried Madison had never really been comfortable with talking to people she didn’t know and, after being interesting for a couple of days because she was one of the new arrivals, she’d found herself on the outside, looking in at all the friendships she knew she could never be a part of. Or maybe she could, if she put the effort in the way her new mentor told her she should, but he had no idea how hard it was just to walk up to someone and talk to them. No one did. They just thought she was aloof, uncommunicative, when really she was doing her best to find the words to reply to whatever it was they’d just said to her. They never gave her the time she needed.

Someone sat next to her. Madison couldn’t bring herself to look at them, even though she could feel eyes on the side of her face, because she was certain that they’d all decided, already, that she was something she wasn’t. “Hey, Madison,” a male voice said. “I’m Lars. I’ve been here a while now and I know how hard it can be when you first arrive, trying to fit in with all the people who already have friends, who’ve spent most of their lives here with no idea what it’s like to suddenly find themselves an orphan in their teen years. They keep saying that you don’t want to make an effort, but it’s not that simple is it. We grew up with friends out there, friends we were close to, but now… well, starting again isn’t easy, and starting again when no one has the patience to let you find yourself is almost impossible.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.

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