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k_a_webbQuiar nodded. “Sometimes I wish I could help the other Quiars more, especially my war torn counterpart, but every time I think I might have some spare time to spend with her I find myself having to focus on something that’s happening here… and when I say here I mean this Web in general.” She sighed. “Nothing about being a sentient world is what could be called easy.” They looked at each other, and she was certain Raenarin was also remembering the early days when they all wished that they weren’t the ones who had been chosen. “Although I have to admit that I am glad that I’ve had a chance to live this life. It may not be easy, but I’ve met some wonderful people.” Quiar reached out with one hand to take hold of Raenarin’s free hand. “You’ll really like Lucille.”
“I imagine I will.” Raenarin’s uncertainty was obvious when she spoke. “Quiar, are you certain that asking her to help me is the right thing to do?”
“Yes, Rae, I am. Lucille is going to need a reason to keep going and I think helping you is the perfect reason, if she does survive.” Quiar bit her lip. “I’m kind of hoping that helping you will give her a reason to survive. From what my future selves have said what’s coming is not going to be easy for her to deal with and things are already bad enough. Bertram had his wing broken by one of the platypi down there, so there’s a chance he might never fly again, even though, if they meet the right people, I’m hoping he will.”
“Not knowing for certain is always the hardest part. Our future selves can tell us what might happen, but that doesn’t mean it will. The people involved could easily make a different decision.”
“Exactly.” Quair bit her lip. “I told Lucille about a couple of the future Quiars I’ve been talking with, because I knew it would interest her. Others… it’s better that she doesn’t know. She wouldn’t leave, I don’t think, even if I told her that three of her counterparts have died during their time on Quiar, but I can’t be certain. Personally I’d walk away, go somewhere safe, and that makes me more glad that it’s her down there instead of me. My Lucille is different to the others, stronger, smarter, just generally better…”
“The other Quiars would have thought the same thing.”
“Of course they would. That’s what worries me. I look at Lucille and I see the right person in the right place at the right time. Unfortunately that doesn’t mean I’m right. She might not be, even though she’s already done a lot of good, because I know I could easily be seeing what I want to see instead of the person who’s really in front of me.”
Looking back down at the platypi Quiar sighed. “What are you waiting for?” Raenarin asked.
“A charm to start working.” Quiar shook her head. “It might not, but I’ve never know Kaito’s charms to fail.”
“Give it time, Quiar. We haven’t been here that long, not really, although it probably seems that way to you.” Raenarin smiled. “Kaito’s another Moonjumper, right?”
“He was. I’m not certain if he could still be called a Moonjumper as he seems mostly settled here now, but he still has the ability to travel the worlds because he ran for his life when he realised that the Council was looking to arrest him.” Quiar’s eyes met Raenarin’s. “How much do you know about what’s been happening on Athare?”
“Not as much as I should. My focus has been on my world, rather than on any of the others, because, obviously, the closer an eye I keep on the covens the better.”
“You’ve definitely made the right choice. If Quiar was anything like Raenarin I’d be doing the same thing, but I’ve been kept in the loop because what’s happening here is important to the other worlds as well. They all know there’s a chance that one of the charms might end up being taken through one of the doors and if that happens…” Quiar shrugged. “As I’ve got Lucille here they’re feeling a little less worried, so that’s good, and it means that Athare has been talking to me more about what happens next.”
“She’s focused on the Web again?”
“At the moment she has to be. We’ve got the counterfeit ring here; Katya planning on retaking the Queen’s throne; problems, as usual, on Siaral; new issues on two of Kniroch’s sibling worlds; and she’s waiting, I believe, for Emrys, because he’s not going to be here until he’s definitely needed. Unfortunately I’m not entirely certain when that’s going to be, although I know it’s going to be before the wards fall.”
“That’s no different to normal.” Raenarin shook her head. “There’s always something happening in the Web, always something for her to be focusing on, and she’s always doing everything she can to help us, but she never seems to take any time off.”
“I’ve talked to her about that. She told me that she can’t possibly take time off with everything that’s been happening and she wants us to always know that she’s there for us, no matter what’s happening, because she knows that we need the support.”
“Who’s supporting her?”
“Emrys, when he’s around. I’m not sure who else she talks to, but I hope she has other Moonjumpers that she can rely on, and I can’t help thinking she might have a connection with Kester.”
“Kester’s the current leader of the Council?” When Quiar nodded Raenarin breathed a sigh of relief. “At least I’m managing to keep up with that. Sometimes I really do wonder how Athare does it – helping us, looking after hew own world, working with the new Athares to create new Web that might be better than this one.”
“When I think about that I can’t help being glad it’s her instead of us. Looking after Quiar is hard enough for me and that’s not just because it’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of heartache as well. Getting close to someone I know is going to die, especially as I know that they’re likely to be reborn not knowing me and I have to start all over again, is almost more than I can bear sometimes.” Their eyes met. “I know it’s the same for you, Rae, and for Gaelom, and all of the others, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. There was a time when I thought about walking away for good, even though I wasn’t certain how I’d do it, because I just couldn’t cope any longer. Gaelom talked me out of it, thankfully, otherwise I wouldn’t be here to help Lucille.”
“Gaelom did exactly the same thing for me.” Raenarin sipped her hot chocolate again, looking thoughtful. “It wasn’t long after my Queen died and I realised that I’d lost my connection to Raenarin. Once that happened there was nothing I could do to change anything that was happening, even though I really wanted to, so I felt utterly useless, especially as I knew that Tabea had sent her children to other worlds and I couldn’t help them either. As far as I was concerned it seemed like it would have been so much easier to just leave it all behind. He came to me, with hot chocolate, to talk me out of it. I’m not certain how he knew what I was thinking, but I will always be grateful to him for that, although watching, every day, without being able to do anything has been difficult.”
“For some reason Gaelom seems to have a closer connection to the two of us than he does to any of our other siblings. You I can understand, because you were connected to him by the fae, but I’m not entirely certain what’s so special about me.”
“It’s because you’re you.” Gaelom replied, making Quiar jump. “If I could explain it to you I would. Unfortunately emotions aren’t easy to understand, so that’s something I don’t think I can do right now… or ever, for that matter, even though it is something I’ve thought about before.” Quiar felt Gaelom’s hand on her shoulder. “Maybe I’m just attracted to worlds that have more difficulties than mine, as both of you have been through some hard times.”
“You haven’t had it easy.”
“Sometimes I feel like it, when I compare myself to you two, or Janoch, or Beshaki. I can’t imagine how hard it is to be the two of them, but, they, thankfully, have Siaral and Kniroch there to keep them strong. Makes it much easier for me to keep focusing on you two, otherwise I might be stretching myself too thing.”
“Maybe that’s what Athare was aiming for.” Raenarin sighed. “When she planned out this Web her aim might have been to make sure that we all had the support that we needed in order to get through things like this.”
Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.
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Date: 2014-03-03 07:56 pm (UTC)