The Donor House: Advent Story (part 9)

[k_a_webb]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8

“They should,” Nick replied, as he thought about what Dominic had just said. “We need people to understand the House and if you’re right then once Christmas is over our focus should be on how we make that happen. I know we’re planning on visiting schools in the new year, which should be interesting, but it would be best if we made it so that both a vampire and a donor went. That way they can ask questions about what the House is like from both the vampire’s point of view and the donors, in order to get the information they need to be able to make an informed decision about whether they want to apply to become donors. Of course that isn’t the only reason we’re going – Lewis’ plan is for everyone to begin to understand vampires better, from the young to the old and we’re even going to be visiting some infant and junior schools.” Nick sighed. “Well, I’m not. Speaking at Cate’s was hard enough. Answering questions from children is something I don’t think I’m going to be capable of for a while, yet. There are still things I need to deal with before I can do that.”

“If you can convince Lewis it’s a good idea you’ll have plenty of volunteers. Last week I was talking to a group of short termers and they’ve all been thinking about extending their stay for a while longer. Being here, although it always is to begin with, isn’t about earning money. For us it’s about being a part of the community you created and I honestly can’t imagine what it will be like when I eventually have to leave. I don’t think I’ll want to, because I’ve made so many good friends, both vampire and human, so the thought of not living with you all in the future… it’s not a nice one.”

“When we were planning the House we didn’t think too much about the future, except to have an idea of what might go wrong. We didn’t dare to believe that it was going to work out the way we all hoped it would and I know Alice has this superstition that if you plan for things to go well they’re more likely to fail. I think that comes from being a child of hunters, who would never dare to think of a hunt going well. They always prepared for failure rather than success, because to prepare for success could lead to a hunter not coming back at all, and they’d much rather be able to celebrate afterwards.”

“Did they find vampires that often?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Before the House existed I met hundreds of vampires who’d never wanted to be changed and were doing their best to live their new life as best they could, but the longer they forced themselves the harder it got, so they’d end up searching for hunters who could bring their vampiric existence to an end quickly. Starving was never a possibility, because it really is one of the most painful things a vampire can put themselves through, and in the end your body will react in a way that will ensure your survival, but will often lead to the end of a life.” Nick sighed. “Not all hunters were good at their job though. It’s not unusual to come across a vampire who was hoping that they’d end up dead because they’d managed to find a group of hunters, only to be left alive and trying to work out what their next step should be. Alice has seen it too and a couple of times I really had no choice but to help them end it, which then meant we had to bury them. It would be so much easier if a vampire did turn to dust, but that doesn’t happen. We leave a body the same way a dead human does.”

“Creating the House gave them a place to go.” Dominic smiled. “You really were thinking of how to change the world, weren’t you?”

“I was attempting to. All humans have ever known is fear of vampires, but we aren’t all out to hurt you, and I have no idea of the percentages. There might be more vampires like us than we ever realised and that’s why Lewis is planning on creating more Houses. He wants every vampire to have a chance at living a life, rather than just surviving, because he dealt with the same difficulties that we all did when he was first created.”

“Dawn.”

Nick nodded. “Exactly. I think it really helps him to have Dawn around now and they seem to be making a go of their relationship, even though it’s difficult for both of them.” He shook his head. “Sometimes it reminds me of the relationship I have with Alice and I can imagine us being in the same position if Alice had chosen to walk away at the beginning. That was the thing I was always most scared of, because I know my feeling of hatred for my creator grew the longer I spent away from him, although that could be due to the way he was always determined to get me back. I don’t know what it was about me that made me so important to him, but he kept sending his children to talk to me, to attempt to convince me to return and become a gathered the way he wanted, and I kept saying no. At times I have to admit it was tempting. I would have liked to have had someone there to help me become a vampire. I just didn’t want it to be him, not when I knew what he was. Maybe he wasn’t to begin with, maybe he was just like me, but by the time I met him he was evil and I’m not exaggerating. Once he even sent someone to me who said he was my son, but… I didn’t want to believe him. I didn’t want him to have met the same fate I did because I walked away.”

“What happened?”

“I haven’t seen him since. It’s something I haven’t told Alice about, even though I’ve wanted to, because I know that she’ll give me that look that always make me fall apart. Ever since it happened I’ve regretted the choice I made, although I know it was the right one for me to make at the time. Having someone there who told me he was my son, who I felt I’d need to look after when I wasn’t actually capable of looking after myself, would have just made the task of surviving even harder that it already was. There were days when I could have found a hunter, stood in front of him, and smiled when he staked me, even though he might have failed at actually killing me.”

“Do you think he really was your son?”

“The more I think about it, Dominic, the harder it gets for me to decide. He was a baby when I last saw him, cradled in his mother’s arms, and managing to age him in my head isn’t exactly an easy thing to do – but there was a part of me that could see the similarities between us. He had my eyes. Of course that could have been because my creator was looking for someone with my eyes to try to convince me that my son really had become a vampire.” Nick shook his head. “I just don’t know. I hope he wasn’t. At the same time I hope he was, because some day he might walk through that door and ask me for a chance to have a relationship, even though it will be very different to the relationship we could have had if neither of us had been changed.”

“You haven’t told Alice because you’re scared she’ll go looking for him.”

Sometimes Nick wished that Dominic wasn’t quite so perceptive, but he was, unfortunately right. One of Nick’s greatest fears was that Alice would find his son and his son would be a vampire. That was one of the reasons he’d never told her the name his parents had given him. The other was that he was just as scared she’d find that both his children had died not long after he was changed, because he hadn’t been there to look after them when they needed him most.

“Alice is Alice. If she thinks it might help me then she’ll do what she thinks is best, even if I don’t think it is. She believes that I’ll be able to move on easier if I know what happened to my family, but, as far as I know, she doesn’t have any idea that my creator might have changed my son in an attempt to get me to return to the fold.”

“She is Alice, so I doubt she’s doesn’t think it’s possible, especially considering what she’s been through. You have told her that you had a family and maybe part of the reason she wants to look for them is because she knows it’s possible that any of them might have been turned into a vampire. It didn’t even need to be your creator that turned them, she just knows that anyone might be changed, so it’s important to her to find them for you if they are alive or to find some of your descendants, and give you an idea of what happened to the people you left behind. Especially as she already knows what happened to her family.”

“Well, she knows what happened to her father and brother. Her mother and other brother are a mystery. I went back to the village once after we left it behind, hoping I might be able to find out for her, but the entire place had been abandoned. There’s a chance it was a hunter’s village, so one of the vampires might have decided it was time to teach all the humans there a lesson or it might simply have become too hard to live that far out. Even though we prefer to live in the cities and larger towns it’s not unheard of for the auction vampires to view the villages like that as a good place to go for auctionable humans. Once I left they wouldn’t have had any reason to keep away.” Nick shrugged. “My hope was that I would be able to stay for longer and help the people there to learn to live with vampires, but the majority of them kept away from me, scared that I might do something to hurt them, even though I was trying to show them that Alice and my two other donors were absolutely fine every time I fed from them. I always made sure to have something there for them to eat and drink before they left. Although Alice often stayed longer than she should have done. Sometimes we talked and I’d tell her about my life as a vampire, other times we’d just sit and watch TV together. It was nice to have someone there, because it had been so long since I had a companion. Then I screwed it all up.”

“No, you didn’t. That was your creator and the only thing you did was save her life because you loved her. It did change things between you, something like that was always going to whether she’d chosen to become a vampire or not, but that’s something you’re going to be able to work through in time. We can all see how much you care about each other, even though there are days when it’s quite obvious she’d rather not be anywhere near you, because she’s dealing with things badly and doesn’t want to hurt you again, the way she did so many times before.” Dominic smiled. “Or maybe, Nick, it’s just a me and John that can see it. He says exactly the same thing when a conversation happens to turn to the two of you.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.