The Donor House: Nick: Finding Out About Sam

[k_a_webb]

Previous stories – Alice: Finding Sam
Sam: Waking Up a Vampire

Nick could tell, from the moment Alice stepped into his office, that she was worried about his reaction to what she was about to tell him. Their eyes let and he could see the pain within them, which worried him in turn. It had been easier for the two of them to repair their relationship within the house than it had been before, because they’d had a chance to become friends again, instead of simply attempting to fix the broken parts. She didn’t sit down the way she normally would, but stood in front of his desk with her arms wrapped around herself.

“Alice, just tell me what happened and we’ll deal with it, okay?”

From the way Alice shrugged he knew that she wasn’t sure they could deal with it. Sometimes Nick hated the way he could read her, because if he couldn’t he wouldn’t be so unsure he could deal with what she was about to tell him. They hadn’t always talked about things, so he was glad that she felt she could talk to him, but at the same time he was terrified that she was about to tell him she was leaving the house. He didn’t think it was that, she loved the house, and yet that was always going to be his first worry, as he wasn’t sure he could stay if she wasn’t there. It held too many memories of the two of them together.

“You know how Sam turned up at the house after…” Alice sighed, looking down at the desk. “Sam helped us to find the vampire, because we’d become friends, and I know you were never happy about that.”

“Sam’s a hunter. Normally they don’t change.” Nick tapped a finger on the desk as he tried to work out why Alice was talking about Sam. “You told me before that you were going to keep spending time with him and I’m not going to stop you, even though I can’t help worrying.”

“Do you remember how you told me that Sam was going to end up going after someone he couldn’t cope with?”

Nodding, Nick found himself wondering if Alice had done the one thing he hoped wouldn’t happen but knew was likely to happen if Sam ever did get hurt by a vampire. “Alice…” He shook his head, trying not to smile. “Have you changed Sam into a vampire because he did something stupid?” Even though Alice still had her eyes focused on the desk Nick could tell from the way she tensed that she had. “What are you scared of?”

Alice looked up, her eyes meeting Nick’s again. “Your reaction.”

Shaking his head, Nick let himself smile. “I’m not stupid, Ally. You dragged Blake to me, because you didn’t think you’d be able to change him if that was what he wanted, and you think that I don’t understand that if someone you care about gets hurt you’re going to give them the option to become a vampire.” He reached his hand across the desk, wanting to take Alice’s hand, but it was too far away. “Sam may not be my favourite person, but you cared about him. Any idiot could see that. If you hadn’t given him the choice then you wouldn’t have been the girl I fell in love with all those years ago.”

“Sam doesn’t want to come to the house. He thinks it’s going to cause you too much pain… and Lewis thought it was possible you might react badly.”

“If I had a choice I would never have changed Sam, because I don’t like him, and we’re not just going to magically become friends because you’ve turned him into a vampire. Having him here…” Nick sighed. “I don’t know how I’m going to feel when I see him and it may hurt. You care about him in a way I don’t think you care about me, which isn’t a bad thing. Things changed between us a long time ago, Alice, and we may still love each other, ever after the mess I made of things, but that doesn’t mean we can’t love other people too. If I thought I was going to have you all to myself once I opened the house I would have been mistaken, because you love everyone here. You have an ability to love that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before and that’s a part of the reason I do love you.”

“You do realise you’re rambling, don’t you?” Alice said, looking at him as though she’d never seen him before. “Nick…” She shook her head. “There are no words to describe how I feel about you and sometimes I’m glad of that, because even if there were I don’t think I’d say them right. Our relationship changed my life in a way I never expected it to, but that change happened well before you found me. I had things to deal with from the moment you saved me from that vampire and I didn’t, so I took out all of that on you as well as my hatred of being forced to become a vampire. If you’d asked me to spend the rest of my life with you before he happened I would have said yes. I loved you then, I love you now, and yet things are never going to be simple for us.”

“Bring Sam to the house. If he’s going to be a part of your life then he’s going to be a part of my life and it’s best to get these things done as soon as possible.”

“Before you think about things too much.”

Nick nodded. “Of all the people you could have chosen to turn into a vampire you picked a vampire hunter.”

“Is it really that strange?”

“No, not to me.” As Alice sat down he took hold of her hand. “Does Sam remind you of your brother?”

“A little. Sam’s different, though, because he chose to get to know me even though I was a vampire. My family…”

“I know, sweetheart.”

“For a while after you changed me I wished I could turn back time and let that vampire take me. At least then I wouldn’t have seen the disappointment they all felt on their faces, because I’d become something they all hated.” Alice shook her head. “I wanted them to give you a chance, the same way I did, but they didn’t want to know.”

“People only change when they want to.” Nick glanced down at where he was holding Alice’s hand before looking at her again. “Sam wanted to, so he did.”

Alice nodded. “I’m glad he has Cate.”

“Have you told her yet?”

“Sam is, with Lewis to stop him from doing anything stupid. Thanks to Dominic Sam did feed this morning, but we all know what new vampires can be like.”

“Why didn’t you call me when it happened?” Nick tried to keep the hurt out of his voice, but he failed. “I would have helped you.”

“I know that now. Last night I was terrified I’d screwed up everything between us and Lewis is building up his little empire, so I knew he wouldn’t mind loaning us a flat for the night. You don’t have any flats you could have loaned us.” Alice smiled. “I also wanted to tell you face to face what had happened, because telling you over the phone felt wrong.”

“And you couldn’t have left Sam alone last night.”

“It didn’t seem fair after what he’d just been through.” Alice’s smile faded. “I spent most of the night terrified he wouldn’t wake up, because I’ve never changed anyone before, and I did want to ring you. I wanted you to be there to look after me, but I didn’t think it was fair on you to have to do that, so I just waited.”

“If you ever change someone again, ring me. No matter who it is.”

“Maybe we should have had this conversation before last night.”

“We probably should have had a lot of conversations before we did.” Nick squeezed Alice’s hand. “Go and get Sam, then come back. We’ll talk more later.”

“Are you going to be okay alone?”

“I’ll be fine.” Nick smiled at her. “I have plenty of work to do to keep me busy.”

As Alice left the room Nick did look down at the notes he’d been working on, in an attempt to make a decision between two possible donors who both felt a little wrong for the house, before shaking his head. He felt like he should be more upset about what happened than he was, because of how both Alice and Lewis had expected him to react, but Alice changing someone, even Sam, into a vampire didn’t bother him at all. The relationship Alice and Sam had was going to go through changes the same way Nick’s relationship with Alice had and he knew that he’d have to be there for Alice if things ever went wrong, which meant he had to be logical about what had happened rather than emotional.

Moments later there was a not unexpected knock on the door, and Nick found himself smiling again as he called, “Come in.”

“Are you okay?” Morgan asked, as she stepped into the room.

“I’m fine,” Nick replied. “Why does everyone think that Alice changing Sam is going to be a problem for me?”

With a shake of her head Morgan shut the door behind her, before staring at Nick. “I don’t know why everyone else think it might be a problem, but you do still love Alice and it’s obvious after what happened that Alice has feelings for Sam. She wouldn’t have changed him if she didn’t.” Morgan sighed. “Sometimes it’s hard for someone to deal with the person they love having feelings for someone else.”

Nick nodded. “I don’t have a problem with Alice changing Sam. They’ve been spending more time together recently and it wasn’t hard to work out why, so I’m not surprise by the choice she made. It’s just easier for me now than it would have been a long time ago, because the donor house has taught me some important lessons about who I am, who she is, and why I still have feelings for her.” He smiled at Morgan. “I’ve also realised how easy it is to fall in love with more than one person at a time.”

“Yeah, it is.” Morgan sat down in the chair Alice had left. “Sometimes it’s too easy to fall in love and not so easy to deal with the repercussions.”

“I worked that out after I changed Alice. Things might have been much simpler if she’d been conscious enough to ask what she wanted, but she wasn’t, so I followed my heart and ended up almost destroying our relationship.”

“Would you have done things differently now?”

“If Alice was the same age she was then, yes. No one should die without having a life first. Alice would be in her fifties if she hadn’t become a vampire, so I don’t know if I would change her, because she would have had a life and I know I wouldn’t want to be old for eternity.” Nick smiled again. “Of course that is just my vanity talking. I’ve been young for decades, so I have no idea what it would be like to be old and how I would feel under those circumstances, but I know that I wouldn’t change Alice in that situation.” His smile faded as he looked at Morgan. “The problem I have now is the donors in the house. It’s easy to get close to you in here and I know one day you will all die, but I don’t know how I’m going to deal with that when it happens. I also don’t know what I’d do if I came across one of you in the same condition I came across Alice.”

“That’s something I think we need to deal with as a house.” Morgan reached across and gently touched Nick’s hand. “I know there are some donors here who would want you to change them, under those circumstances, some who would happily become vampires because of the relationships they have here, and some who never want to become vampires, even though they care about the vampires they’ve got to know.”

“Which one are you, Morgie?”

“You know that’s a question I shouldn’t answer. Not when we’re alone.”

“I’m not going to jump you.” Nick ran a hand through his hair, knowing that Morgan was right about it not being a conversation they should have alone, but it was a conversation they needed to have. “Maybe we could ask someone to come up here and chaperon us.”

“Right now you have more important things to deal with.”

Shaking his head, Nick stopped himself from running his hand through his hair a second time, because he knew it would tell Morgan as much about him as it would Alice. “Sam isn’t going to be a problem. Alice did the right thing, the Alice thing, and I’m glad that becoming a vampire didn’t change who she is. I’m glad I didn’t change her into someone else.”

“You say that now…”

“Words are easy to say, I know, but that doesn’t change how I feel. Alice is who she is. She cared enough about Sam to turn him into a vampire. That doesn’t mean things are going to be simple for them and I know that better than anyone.”

“Alice gave Sam a choice and he chose to become a vampire.”

Nick nodded. “That doesn’t mean the transition from human to vampire is going to be easy, Morgan. It isn’t for anyone, even though having a choice does make it different, and Sam is going to need help from all of us. We’ve done it before, with vampires who weren’t given the same choice he was, so we know how to help, but it’s not going to be exactly the same. For a start he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact he did make the choice, he did choose to become a vampire, and for a hunter, even a hunter who was obviously in love with a vampire, it’s going to be one of the hardest things he has to do.”

“How much have you been thinking about this?”

“I always knew it was a possibility, no matter what I felt about Sam, because Alice is her own person. I guess I came to terms with it before it could happen and I think that might be the reason I’m so calm right now.”

“Are you going to stay calm?”

Shaking his head, Nick smiled at Morgan. “I don’t know. It’s easy enough to sit here and be logical about what’s happened, but later maybe things will change.”

“Call me if you need me.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

“I offered, Nick, and this isn’t something you should deal with alone.”

“Morgan…”

“Don’t argue with me.”

“What has this place done to you?”

Morgan raised an eyebrow. “It’s taught me to understand vampires. You may well be a vampire, Nick, but you’re a person first and I’m not going to walk away when you need help. I’d do the same thing for any of my friends.”

“I’m not your friend.”

“So that’s why you keep coming to me room at stupid o’clock to have conversations about nothing. Because we’re not friends.” Morgan sighed. “Maybe there could be something more, but not here. Remember your rule book.”

“That rule might need changing.”

“It’s there for a reason.”

“I won’t get jealous. You have a job to do and I know that.” Nick smiled. “I hired you.”

“You might not, but that doesn’t mean that other vampires would feel the same way. The rule needs to stay in the book, for the safety of all the donors.”

“How much longer are you going to be here?”

Shaking her head, Morgan stood up. “Yeah, it’s going to be a long time before I leave.”

Before Nick could stop her she was out of the door and he didn’t stop to think before he followed her. “Morgan…”

“I’m not having this conversation, Nick.”

“We need to have it, before I lose you the same way I lost Alice.”

Nick could see a couple of tear streaks on Morgan’s cheeks as she turned to look at him. “You aren’t going to lose me, but we can’t let this go any further than it already has.”

“Too late. I’ve been planning on mentioning a rules change for a while, because I can’t wait until you leave the house to have a relationship with you, and that rule was made before we realised a lot of things.”

“We both know why that rule was made.”

“There have been rules changed before.”

“I don’t think it should be changed.”

“You might be right, Morgan. Maybe it shouldn’t be changed, but I want us all to talk about it at the very least, because this is something that needs to be worked out. The same way we need to work out what happens if any of the donors happens to get attacked and end up being close to death.”

“How did this happen? How did a conversation about Alice and Sam turn into a conversation about us?”

Shrugging, Nick closed the gap between them. “Does it really matter?”

“I guess not.”

“The rule might not be changed and that’s something I’ll just have to deal with, but I want to know if you would…” Nick trailed off, unsure how he should put the next thing he wanted to say. “Would you give us a try?”

“I don’t know, Nick. It’s not something I’ve let myself think about.”

“You should,” Alice said as she stepped out of the lift with Sam, making Morgan jump. “The rule about relationships in the house probably should have been changed a long time ago.” Smiling, Alice’s eyes met Nick’s. “Is this why you were fine with what I did?”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.

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Sometimes rules need to be changed, but yeah, that's complicated either way it goes.