The Fae World: Alaois: Finding the World the Fae Left Behind

[k_a_webb]

Stepping through another portal led Alaois to a wasteland. He took a moment to look around him, almost smiling when he realised he knew exactly where he was, before turning. The smile that never really existed faded, because the portal had disappeared. It wasn’t totally a surprise, other portals had disappeared on him during his travels, and it wasn’t the first time he’d been trapped on a world he’d much rather be able to leave, but that didn’t make him any happier about what had happened. Breathing deeply he looked around again, taking in the world in more detail. As he did he realised there really was nothing around him.

For the first time a tremor of real fear caused Alaois to shiver. He’d been travelling for a long time, going from one world to another using the fae’s many portals, and he hadn’t felt anything close to fear before. There had been worlds he hadn’t liked, worlds he’d been almost certain he would never be able to leave, worlds he thought it was possible something might eat him, but he’d never been scared of any of them. Standing on the world the fae had once called home he did his best to push away those feelings, because he needed to focus on what he was going to do next.

There were no portals in sight, which again wasn’t really a surprise because the portals often weren’t close together, but right at that moment, as Alaois stared at the nothingness that surrounded him, he wished there was one. Breathing deeply he focused on what he did have. From the time he’d stepped through the first portal he’d been prepared for the worst, even though he hadn’t know then what the worst would be. It never crossed his mind that it would be finding himself on a world that had been drained of all its magic. He had enough food to be able to survive a couple of weeks, by which time he would have found another portal… if one existed.

All Alaois could do was walk. He didn’t know where he was, which direction he ended up walking in, or what might happen next, but he had no other options. The world he was on affected the options he had, because a lot of them needed magic. It was possible to feel a slight stirring, as though the magic was beginning to return somehow, which was good. Unfortunately it was nowhere near what he needed to build a portal to get him off the world or even create a charm that would find the closest live portal. That meant he had to search for one, although he wasn’t certain that he would find one at all. Walking onto the world in the first place had been close to impossible as there didn’t seem anywhere near enough magic to keep it open, so it seemed likely the only reason he’d been able to find the portal was the magic the other world had.

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.

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[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>>It wasn’t totally a surprise, other portals had disappeared on him during his travels, and it wasn’t the first time he’d been trapped on a world he’d much rather be able to leave, but that didn’t make him any happier about what had happened.<<

This is a run-on sentence. I suggest:

"It wasn’t totally a surprise; other portals had disappeared on him during his travels. It wasn’t the first time he’d been trapped on a world he’d much rather be able to leave, either, but that didn’t make him any happier about what had happened."

>>worlds he thought it was possible something might eat him<<

That should say "worlds where" above.