Sponsored: Donor House: John Good Road: A Conversation with Alice

[k_a_webb]

Sponsored by LJ user ysabetwordsmith.

When John walked into the room that the vampires often used for a meeting room he found Alice and Nick in there, arguing again. Their problems had been getting worse ever since Caleb had arrived at the house. Nick was jealous of her spending so much time with the human addict and didn’t know how to tell Alice that he was jealous, so he picked arguments with her because it was easier than trying to find the right words to explain his feelings. All John could do was stand there and watch them, even though he wanted to step in to tell them that they were both being stupid. Finally Nick stormed out of the room without glancing at John.

“Alice,” John said quietly, “do you want to talk?”

Alice turned to look at him. “I’ll be fine, John. It’s just Nick being his normal self.”

“Are you sure?”

“I think so.” She smiled. “Thank you for asking.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m just doing what any of your friends would do.” He smiled back. “How’s Caleb doing?”

“It’s difficult, John. Every day is a struggle for him and it doesn’t seem like there’s a lot I can do to help him.”

John crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. “You’ve done more for him than anyone else would have. When he walked into the house you could have turned him away but you didn’t. Instead you made the choice that you were going to try to help him because he was unlucky enough to be a part of the auction system that you managed to avoid.”

“Sometimes I feel guilty, John. I look at Caleb and I see what could have happened to me and I feel bad that it happened to him rather than me.” Alice sighed. “I feel exactly the same way about Blake too, but I think he’s dealing with his issues finally.”

“You’re a good friend to them but they’re not the only people that need you.”

“Nick?”

“Yes, Nick. He needs you, Alice, as much as Caleb and Blake. That’s why he changed you, that’s why he kept you with him for the past thirty years even though the two of you are like oil and water, and that’s why you’re always arguing.”

“It’s hard to forgive him. Even after all this time.” Alice shook her head. “I understand why he made the choice he did, and I know that he would have made the same choice if we went back in time to relive that moment, but I just… it’s not what I wanted.” She sighed. “I want to forgive him. He was a good friend to me and he still is now, no matter how many pointless arguments we get into, but it’s hard to let go of what I could have had if things had been different.”

John looked at her for a long moment. “Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I hadn’t been turned into a vampire. It’s hard not to, no matter how old you get, and I know exactly what it’s like to feel angry at the vampire who took away that chance of living a normal human life. Nick only did what he had to do.”

“If it wasn’t for Nick then I wouldn’t have been in the situation that led to me becoming a vampire.” Alice ran a hand through her hair as she smiled. “At the same time I know that if it wasn’t for Nick then I could have ended up like Caleb and I’m grateful to him for that. I’m having difficulty dealing with how opposite those feelings are.”

“Do you feel angry at him for helping you as well as feeling grateful?”

“A little, John. I know that someone else would have taken my place and I can’t help feeling guilty for that, which in turn makes me feel angry with Nick for rescuing me. Then I feel like an idiot because I should be angry at the vampire who started the auctions or at the vampire who thought that I would be a good seller in the auction.”

“It’s hard to be angry at someone you don’t know and transferring your feelings onto Nick is normal because he’s always there.”

Alice smiled. “’Always there’ is an apt description.”

“He wants to look after you, Alice. I’ll admit he doesn’t always go about it the right way, but you’re the girl that everyone seems to turn to if they have problems and he wants you to know that he’s there for you if you ever need to talk about it.”

“I don’t need looking after. Not by Nick, of all people. He needs to look after himself before he attempts to look after other people.”

“Tell him then.”
“He needs to want the help, John, and I don’t think he does. He’s too used to sticking his head in the sand when it comes to his own problems.”

John nodded, knowing that what Alice said was true. “One day he’ll have to deal with them.” He sighed. “I wish he’d do it before something bad happens again.”

“He won’t though.” Alice bit her lip. “There are so many of us who would sit and listen to him if he did choose to talk about his life but he won’t. Even Issac doesn’t know how Nick became a vampire. Maybe if Nick had of said something, I would have known who to avoid.”

“What happened to you is just one more reason to bury his head in the sand.” John looked away from Alice as he contemplated telling her his theory. “I can’t help wondering if Nick’s creator has something to do with the auctions,” he said finally, looking at Alice again.

“Issac has wondered exactly the same thing, especially since Nick came up with the idea of the donor house. It seems to be his way of making up for something that he did in his past.”

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.