September Surprise Story Week: Vitali continued: Pagan Collection: 588 words

[k_a_webb]

 

See the beginning of this story here (LJ link).

“Why?” Anna asked, sounding truly interested.

Vitali stared down into his coffee as he tried to find the words he needed to explain it to her. He'd never spoken to anyone else about it before and he wasn't quite sure why he was opening up to a stranger. It wasn't something he'd ever done before but there was something about Anna that made him want to talk to her.

Finally he looked at her and said, “There are certain things that I am interested in that make me feel like I'm not a Witch in a way, but at the same time it's the word I have always felt resonates with what I am.” He sighed. “I'm at that point where there are paths that feel right to me and that I want to travel. At the same time I don't want to because I know that it will mean change and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that change.”

“Change is terrifying. I understand how you must be feeling about the paths you want to travel at the same time as not wanting to travel them. It's something I'm dealing with right now because I know I'm pagan in some way, I feel it in my soul, but I can't find out exactly how I'm pagan.”

“Your problem might be that you're trying to work out who you were before when you should be focusing on who you are now.” He sipped his coffee. “If you need some help researching things then I could loan you some books. I've had a lot of time to collect them over the years.”

“We barely know each other.”

“Sometimes you just have to go with your intuition. Mine is saying that you're a person I want to get to know better.”

Anna smiled. “I'd like to get to know me better too.” She shook her head, laughing. “If you don't mind having to deal with my amnesia then it would be good to spend some more time with you. I will admit my main reason is selfish.”

“I don't mind if part of the reason is because of a lack of expectations. That's partly why I want to be friends with you too. My friends all have specific expectations of me too and I think that you will help me get out of the box they've put me in.”

“It's strange how expectations have such an effect. When I'm around someone who expects me to be the girl I always was I feel like I have a weight around my neck that's helping to drown me in confusion. There are very few people I can spend time with comfortably.”

Vitali sipped his coffee again. “I feel like the expectations people have of me make me more scared of change than I would be normally. I worry that the changes in my life may make my friends dislike me.” He shrugged. “It's hard to correlate the want to change and grow with the need to have those friends in my life. I know that I can make new friends but they've been with me through such important things that I don't want to lose them.”

“If they're really your friends, Vitali, then they'll understand why you've changed.”

“I think I'm probably scared that I'll find out that they aren't my friends.”

Anna nodded. “That makes sense. My fear is that the people who expect me to be like I was before won't accept me if I never become that person.”

© K A Jones 2011

 

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Comments

Feedback

[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>>“I think I'm probably scared that I'll find out that they aren't my friends.”<<

Alas, that often happens. People can be really inflexible, and good friends are hard to find.

I'm enjoying the interaction between these two, and the exploration of friendship without expectations.

No typos spotted.