k_a_webb | The World Walkers: Quiar: The Case of the Counterfeit Enchantments (part 10, 16th continuation) (Reply)

“Merry’s going to take it all better than you think he will.” Lucille smiled. “I understand why you’re worried, Jarek. If I was in your position I think I would be too, but I know him and this will fascinate him. He loves learning new things about himself.”

Jarek nodded. It was obvious he didn’t share her enthusiasm though. “You say that and I believe it, but I’m not certain he’s going to want to be anywhere near as happy when he learns more about the lives he lived when he was fae. He wasn’t always a good person. He wasn’t always the person he became when he choose to remove the memories of the life he led, knowing that it would be for the best when we get here, knowing there would come a day when I’d turn up to let him learn who he once was.” He sighed. “Is he really going to think me for that, Lucille, when I could have left him as he is?”

“I don’t know the answer to that question. I wish I did. Being able to put your mind at rest would make this much easier than it is, but I can’t, and I think you’re just going to have to take the chance.” She yawned. “He might never thank you for showing him who he once was. He might never be happy that he has those memories back. I think he will. I believe I know him well enough to be able to say that. Whenever we’ve spoken about these sorts of things I’ve got the feeling he would like to know why he can’t remember anything from before he came here.” As she stared at the ongoing fight, wondering how it has lasted so long, she shrugged. “I want to know the truth myself, so I might be projecting, and I hope I’m not, because I want things to work out for you.”

“Thank you for that.” He smiled at her. “I want things to work out for us as well. It’s been a long time since I could turn to him for help and that’s something I really do miss. He was… even when he wasn’t necessarily the best person he could be I loved him. He was my best friend, my confidant, the person I knew I could talk to no matter what, but I’ve been alone ever since we stepped onto Athare.” Lucille could hear the pain in his voice. “I could remember the lives we shared, so I did my best to keep away from him, because it hurt to look at him, to see him living his life, and know that he didn’t know me. Maybe I could have become a part of his new life. Maybe I could have made that pain go away by spending time with him. I don’t know, but what I am certain of it my discomfort with the idea of trying to build a relationship with him, only to turn around to him later and tell him I knew who he once was.” He sighed. “I’m pretty certain I made the right choice.”

“You did.” She was surprised at the certainty in her voice. “If you’d become friends with him, knowing what you do, he would have felt betrayed by you. He would have wondered why you didn’t tell him the truth before and it would have affected the relationship the two of you had. Now you have a chance to tell him that’s what you’re going to do. There was no time before when it was the right time, so you kept out of his life, realising it was best for both of you.”

“Sometimes I wonder if you’re in my head.”

Lucille couldn’t help laughing. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Moonjumper or if there’s some other reason, but I’ve always been good at understand why people do things. Before I met Carver I wasn’t good with people in general. I could understand why they made the choices they did – I just couldn’t talk to them. Now it’s a lot easier, which is probably due to the amount of practice I’ve had since I started Moonjumping, as I never thought for a moment I’d spend so much time with people. I thought I’d be spending the majority of my time watching over you.”

“Do you think that might have been why Carver spoke to you in the first place?”

“Possibly.” She looked at Jarek. “Do you know Carver?”

“I know Carver, Azure, and Kaito. I knew Kaito and Azure at different times and I’m certain that Kai doesn’t remember the lives he’s lived. Carver, though, knows much more than he lets on. He’s never told me if he remembers the lives he led before. He’s never told me he remembers spending numerous lives with you, in one form or another, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.”

“Carver and I spent lives together before?”

“Yes, you did, and I bet Quiar would be yelling at me if I could hear her. There are going to be things I shouldn’t tell you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t. I’m not constrained by the same rules the worlds are. I don’t want to tell you too much, because I believe it will be better for you to learn most of it yourself. I’m just not going to keep secrets. I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not going to make you feel like I’m not willing to tell you things, and I’ll always tell you if there’s something I don’t know. I am just one person. I don’t know everything.”

“At least you admit that.” Lucille thought back to the time she’d spent with Carver, trying not to see everything in the light of learning he might always have known who she had been, but it was hard not to. “I think I need to talk to him about this.”

“There will be a reason why he didn’t tell you.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.