The Donor House: A Conversation with Alice

[k_a_webb]

Stepping into the Donor House is a very strange experience. I know it as a hotel, but here it’s something very different, and I’m not entirely sure what to expect, even though I have written about both the place and people who live here before. Today I’m here to meet Alice, although she has told me that it’s likely I’ll end up meeting several more vampires and donors before I leave, because they’re all fascinated by me. We talked before I came, so she could remind me that I needed something white, which is a colour I don’t wear a lot of. Following their rules is important to me and I bought a white ribbon which is now tied around my wrist.

Alice is sitting at the reception desk. I did expect to find Nadia there, but I should have known that Alice was going to be there, because of who she is. She smiles at me and I can see her teeth. They don’t bother me in the way they probably would someone who was raised in a place where there have always been vampires. As I smile back I make my way over to her, knowing that I’m going to need to sign in and probably be given one of the rule books.

“Morning,” she says, holding out a pen and I take it from her. For them it is morning, even though it’s evening for me. “You know what to do.”

I nod and scrawl my name into the sign in book. Writing my new name is still strange, but I’m glad I finally got round to changing it. Alice already has the rule book in her hands when I turn back. “We both know you already know the rules, probably better than I do, but it’s what we have to do to keep the House open.”

“I know.” Feeling like I’ve just stepped onto another world, even though I know that I’m on an Earth in a town very much like the one I lived in for years, I take the rule book. “So where do we go from here?”

“Everyone knows that you’re coming today, so taking you into the dining hall would probably be a mistake. There’s a whole mix of people there who want to talk you into writing their story for your world to read and as I know how busy you are with all of the other worlds that have asked you to do the same thing I thought it would probably be better for you if we simply go up to my office for now. Nick’s keeping them all distracted to give us time to do that.”

“When I have a chance I will write everyone’s story.”

“They all know that.” Alice stands. “They just think their story is the most important and you don’t need pretty much every vampire in the House nagging you.”

“How many are here today?” She leads me towards the stairs, even though the elevator’s free, and I know that’s because she hates them as much as I do. “I’m guessing from what you said it’s pretty obvious you’re having a busy day.”

“Yes, we are.” Glancing over her shoulder Alice smiles at me. “Even the vampires who decided that the house wasn’t for them are here, because it doesn’t take long for word to spread. It’s going to be a busy night, but you don’t have to talk to any of them if you don’t want to. We’re happy to lie for you.”

I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “Alice, I came here to talk to the vampires and the donors, so that’s what I’m going to do, even if they will nag me to write their stories. Hopefully they’ll come to understand that it isn’t as simple as they seem to think it is.” There are so many people who want me to write their stories that I’m going to have to begin keeping a list, even though I know I’m not very good with lists. “You’re all important to my readers though and they want me to write more about the House.”

“That’s good to hear.” Alice does sound pleased and I’m glad that she does appear to appreciate the work I do for them all. “A couple of the vampires and several of the donors have your website bookmarked, because they enjoy reading the stories that you write about the other worlds. One of my favourites is the World Walkers collection.”

“Really?”

“Kayleigh, I know how little you believe in yourself, but you do write a good story, and that’s why we asked for your help. You can put our lives down in words in a way that we can’t. John wants to talk to you later about that exact problem.”

That makes me smile. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”

“John likes you. You work at making your dreams a reality rather than allowing reality to force you into doing something that you wouldn’t love. He knows it might not work out, but it’s much better than not trying at all.”

“If I didn’t try I know I’d regret it and, even though I’m not always good at remembering it, I can write well when I put my mind to it. When I was young I always wanted to be an author, to have my book on a bookshelf somewhere, but that was before I even knew that self publishing existed and I realised how important it was to me to have total control of what I write.”

“Publishing houses can’t understand that you’re actually in contact with another world and the stories you’re writing down are more than that. They’re things that have happened,so changing them to fit with something that they think their audience will want is impossible.”

Nodding, I list in my head some of the things I think I’d have to change if I wanted to have my work traditionally published and I know none of them are things I could change. “Crowdfunding makes more sense to me, even though I’m never going to be a millionaire.”

“Give it time. You never know what might happen in the future.” Alice opens the door to her office. “Every story that you publish on your website is another chance that someone who wants to help you write more will find them – someone who happens to have a little extra money in their pocket they can use to help you make your dream a reality.”

“That’s why I keep going, Alice, even though there have been days when I could have simply closed down the website and walked away. When something’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted to do it can be disheartening when there doesn’t seem to be anyone reading the work you may well have spent hours writing, but I’m not just doing it for me. I’m doing it for every one of the people who wants me to write about them and I won’t walk away from those who need my help.”

Alice’s office is empty, which is a surprise. I half expected someone to be waiting for us, but it seems that Nick really does have them all in the dining hall, giving me a chance to have a chat with one of the first vampires who contacted me. That was a long time ago, when the Donor House was a different place, and one I may write about in the future. Alice was very different as well. When she looks at me I know she’s thinking of that vampire as well, who’d lived a much more difficult life. Strangely they know each other, but I think Alice is more connected with the other Alices that exist that another vampire would be, even the Alices she happens to know of.

“You’re a good person. I know there are days when it isn’t easy to be connected with all of us, as well as all the others you’re connected with, but we do all appreciate the hard work you do for all of us.”

“Everyone deserves to have their story told.”

Alice sits at her desk, which is much tidier than normal, and I know she’s done that for my visit, even though I told her that she didn’t have to. I take the seat opposite her. For a long moment we just look at each other, taking each other in, because neither of us thought we’d actually be spending time together in the same room, especially when that room is in the Donor House.

“You’re not exactly what I was expecting,” Alice admits. “When we first talked on the phone I thought you’d be…” She trails off. “I don’t know how to put this without insulting you.”

“Use whatever words come to mind. I’m not going to be insulted. Unfortunately I have heard my own recorded voice and I can just imagine what people might think I look like.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Alice, I sound like I’ve been breathing in helium.”

“Maybe a little.” She smiles. “In my mind you were shorter, wearing very different clothes, and with very different hair.”

With my white ribbon I’m wearing a short sleeve t-shirt, one that James bought me years ago with Tigger on it, a pair of jeans, and a burgundy cardigan. On my feet are a pair of lace up boots – I need lace up because I have really small ankles. My glasses have purple and silver frames that I doubt works with the burgundy, but I don’t care. A long time ago I would have been in much more black, but the years have mellowed me slightly. Now I wear much more colour, although it’s mostly shades of purple and shades of red. Even my hair is red, although my blond is growing back and it needs dying again.

“That’s not so bad, although I do have this feeling you thought I’d look a lot like Miss Marple. Sorry to disappoint.”

Shaking her head Alice grins at me. “Nick and I used to play this game where we guessed what the donors looked like based on their application. We never once got someone right, but it was fun. It helped to make Nick less stressed out when he was trying to decided which of the applying donors he was going to visit.”

“It can’t be an easy job.” I shrug. “Although it’s not as though anything you do here is simple, really.”

“No, it’s not simple, but it was the right thing to do. You know when Nick first suggested the House I was still angry with him for the decision he made when he found me and I wish I hadn’t let that affect me as much as it did. I understand why he saved my life, I probably would have done the same thing if I was in the same position, and yet I still hated him.” Alice bites her bottom lip, in much the same way that I do when I’m thinking, and I can’t help smiling at that. “Maybe it was more than I hated myself, because I had become something I knew my parents would never be able to accept, and if it hadn’t been for Nick’s creator trying to kill me, if that was what he was actually aiming for in the first place, I would have asked Nick to change me. When they told me they didn’t want to see me again…”

“I haven’t written that part yet.”

“I know.” Alice sighs. “There is still so much work for you to do and you worry that you won’t have time to do it all, but, Kayleigh, you have to remember that you are still young. You should have years left to write all the stories that need to be told, so stop thinking about whether you’ll be able to.” She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Take the time that you need to rest as well as to write or you’ll end up burning out.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.