The Donor House: Dawn: Meeting Alice

[k_a_webb]

Lewis had asked Dawn to meet one vampire from the donor house. As he’d helped her once again, giving her a flat to live in until she decided what she was going to do next, she felt she couldn’t say no to the request. Since sunset she’d been pacing around her living room, wondering who would be knocking on her door. Every time she heard the slightest noise she straightened the cushions again, making certain that the room was as tidy as it could be, only to find that the noise had been nothing important. Wrapping her arms around herself she tried not to let her fear get the better of her. It was hard to believe that the donor house would be inhabited by vampires like the ones she’d left behind.

Another noise had her straightening the cushions again and Dawn breathed a sigh of relief when someone finally knocked on the door. Running a hand though her hair she made her way over to the door, doing her best to smile even though it felt more like a grimace. When she opened it she found a recognisable blonde haired vampire standing there, smiling, which confused her.

“Surely you have more important things to be doing,” Dawn said, before realising how rude she was being. “Ignore that. Come in, Alice, please.”

“Thank you.” Alice stepped past her, looking amused. “No, I don’t have more important things to be doing. When Lewis told me that you were coming I offered to be the first to visit you, because from what he said you haven’t been having a good time of it recently.”

Biting hard on her lip Dawn closed the door, not sure if she was comfortable with Lewis talking about her. “I…” She trailed off, turning to look at Alice and tried to do her best to seem nonchalant. “Things are better now.”

“Are they?” Alice’s eyes met Dawn’s. “Lewis didn’t tell us anything more than he had to, I promise.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters, Dawn. Anyone can tell that just by looking at you.” Alice shook her head. “I know that there’s some weird history between the two of you. That’s a vampire thing, I think. You need to be able to trust him and I think for you to be able to do that you have to know he hasn’t been talking about you behind your back.”

Dawn thought, for a few seconds, about lying to Alice, because it seemed like the easiest thing to do. “I would be happier if he wasn’t talking about me to his vampire friends and it would be easier to trust him, but I don’t know if I want to be able to trust him.” She sighed. “Lewis changed my life and I’m not sure if I’ve forgiven him.”

“Forgiving the vampire who turned you, when it was something you didn’t want, is probably the hardest thing in the world to do.” Alice glanced around the living room, as though she was putting something off. “I never asked Nick to change me, so when he did it was a shock. I know why he made the choice he did, I know I would have felt differently if I had asked him, and yet there are days when I still don’t know if I’ve forgiven him for turning me into a vampire.”

“Why did he?”

“I was dying and he couldn’t imagine life without him.” Alice shrugged. “Understandable, but I was unconscious at the time and before I passed out I’d come to terms with what was going to happen. Then I woke up a vampire.”

“Lewis changed me because I was dying.” Dawn bit her lip, looking out of the window rather than at Alice. “He’d never met me before, but I was family and he did what he thought was for the best. Instead I was thrown out by my family, who wanted nothing to do with me when they found out what I was, and had to stay with someone I didn’t know because I had no other choice.”

“How has you life been since you became a vampire?”

“Since I left Lewis behind I’ve gone from one disaster to another. Maybe I should never have left him, but I couldn’t stay with him, and yet I kept going to him for help when things went wrong because I knew he was the only person I could rely on. There were times when I hated myself for what I was doing to him.”

“Lewis never begrudged helping you, Dawn. He realised not long in to the time you spent together that you were never going to stay with him and he did everything he could to help you because that didn’t matter. He loved you, even if some of your choices weren’t the best, which is why he’s giving you the time you need to decide what you want to do next.”

Sighing, Dawn looked at Alice again. “I have no idea I want to do, Alice. Roaming around the country, finding vampires to live with, hasn’t done me any good at at all. Staying here…” She looked around the room. “It feels like I’ll never be able to find a home.”

“The important thing is that you do what’s best for you and if you don’t know what that is then you take the time to work out what is.”

“I can’t take advantage of Lewis’ generosity.”

“Of course you can.” Alice smiled. “Lewis gives everyone six months of free time at his rental properties and if you need more than that he’ll happily give you more time, because you’re family. That means more to him than anything.”

Dawn shook her head. “I don’t deserve it.”

“Why not?”

“All I’ve done, ever since he changed me, is hurt him or use him.” Dawn sighed. “He deserves a better daughter than me, and a better granddaughter.”

“Now might be the time to show him that you’re sorry for what you did in the past. Lewis is amazingly forgiving and I know that he’s happy that you came to him when you needed help. He asked me to convince you to visit the donor house, at least once, and I do think it would be a good place for you, but I’m not going to try to convince you to do something you aren’t comfortable with. I will, with your permission, bring a couple of donors with me next time I come.”

Somehow Dawn managed to not blurt out her first reaction. All the donors had applied to enter the house, so feeding from them would be entirely different to what she’d been forced to do before. Blinking tears from her eyes she pushed the memory away, hating herself again for getting into the situation she’d been in, and tried to focus on something else. That was made easier when a pair of arms wrapped around her.

“I’m okay,” she said, hating the emotion she could hear in her voice.

“Don’t lie, Dawn.”

“I will be okay. It’s just going to take time.” Dawn let herself sink into the hug. “Everything that happened was my own stupid fault.”

“That doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.” Alice squeezed Dawn, gently. “If you ever want to talk about it I’ll leave my business card. Ring me at any time on my mobile.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can. Lewis asked me to look after you and I can see why. Your eyes are haunted by whatever happened to you, which I’m guessing had something to do with feeding in a way you weren’t comfortable with, so we’ll leave the donors for a little while. It is possible to get hold of animal blood easily in town, if that would be better for you.”

“I…” Dawn bit her lip again. “Lewis did make sure there was some in the fridge and I’ll be fine for a little while.”

Alice pulled away and Dawn kept her eyes on the floor, not wanting the strangely empathetic vampire to see what she was feeling. The sound of movement surprised her. Looking up she saw Alice making her way over to the fridge, which made Dawn wonder if some vampires were actually telepathic. During her journeys around the country she had met a couple of vampires who seemed to have the same ability.

“I’ll pick you some up, if you aren’t ready to leave the flat,” Alice said, drawing Dawn’s attention to her. “Just talk to me, okay, especially if you don’t feel comfortable talking to Lewis. The last thing I want is for you to end up dying alone her because you don’t want to admit that you’re having problems right now.”

“I feel so weak, though.”

“Sometimes we all need someone to look after us. That’s something I had to learn to admit to myself and I think you need to do the same thing.”

“Maybe I do.” Dawn smiled at Alice for the first time. “I’ve never been good at letting people look after me. That’s probably why I kept running away from Lewis.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.