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k_a_webbSini looked at Meriwether. He’d been through so much, lived more lives than she could imagine, and she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him. She couldn’t imagine what he’d dealt with in those many lives, and deaths, but the longer she spent talking with him about it the more she realised how much of an effect it had had on him, even though he’d always seemed so… normal. It made her wonder if she should go through with the ritual, because she knew that finding out about her past lives would have an effect on her too, and yet… she’d thought about it for days, ever since she found out that it was possible to find out about her previous lives. No matter how scared she was that she might change because of what she found out she couldn’t help thinking it would be better for her to know. Better for her to understand why she’d been born as a chimera with such dangerous magical abilities.
“Merry, I’ve been scared of who I am for a very long time,” Sini said. “If learning about my past lives can help me come to terms with who I am now then I think it would be a good thing.” She smiled over at him. “There has to be a reason I am who I am and I need to know what that reason is, because otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable with myself.”
The deer nodded, even though Sini could see the sadness is his eyes. “I understand, Sini, but understanding doesn’t stop me from worrying.” He rubbed his antler. “Really there have been more successes with the ritual than there have been failures, yet it’s the failures that I can’t stop thinking about.”
“That’s normal.” Lucille reached out and wrapped an arm around Meriwether’s. “It’s always going to be the failures that affect you more, because they’re something you wished never happened or could change in some way. You’re always going to be looking back to see how you could have made a better choice, when really all you can do is accept that it happened and move on, even though that’s the hardest part of it all.” She sighed. “We’ve all made mistakes, Merry. We’ve all made choices we wish we could change. We just don’t have more than one lifetimes worth to deal with.”
“I guess it is.” Meriwether covered Lucille’s hand with his own, looking grateful for her support. “The choice is yours, Sini, and I’ll support you no matter what. When I first found out about the ritual I knew it was going to be one of my jobs to pass the knowledge on to the people who needed it. Back then I had no idea how hard it was going to be, but I’m not going to stop now just because I’m scared.”
“You’re allowed to be scared, Merry. I’m scared too. Learning about the lives I lived before isn’t the easy option, but it seems to be my only option right now.” Sini shook her head. “The magic I have wants to be used and I know I should use it, but… I’ve heard stories of how things can go wrong and now I can’t. Even the abilities I started exploring before my father told me about our family are difficult for me to use, because I can’t let go of my belief that they’re dangerous.”
“Magic is a neutral force. It’s who wields it that’s the problem. You see that on every magical world in the Web, Sini.” Meriwether shrugged. “The quetzels have always been the priest-kings of Mothar, so they made the rules both for the magic they use and for the religion they created, and they don’t have anyone above them to tell them when they’re using their power in a way that someone else probably wouldn’t, for whatever reason.”
“I still don’t know that much about Mothar,” Lucille said, “or the races that live there.” She bit her lip. “I was thinking of asking Kai if he could make me a charm so I could visit, but I don’t want to do that until I know more.”
Sini wasn’t surprised by Lucille’s admission, because it was just the sort of thing the Moonjumper would want to do, even though she knew she’d be executed if anyone found out who she really was. “Are there doors that lead to Mothar?” Sini asked, as her father had never mentioned them or the people who might have travelled through them.
“On Leolin’s map there’s three.” Lucille ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know if they’re still there, because I haven’t wanted to test them, but there’s one that leads straight from Athare to Mothar, one from one of the Gaeloms, and one that’ll take you to Oracle on rainy days.”
“Doors can take you to different places depending on the weather?” Meriwether asked, surprising Sini because she though the deer would have known that.
Lucille nodded. “Weather, phase of the moon or moons, some change from one day to another… Leolin found it all out because he wanted to learn everything he could about the doors after his sister disappeared. He also had a strong connection to Athare and Athare pushed him to share his journals, knowing that everyone would need the information, but the fae weren’t happy about that. Thankfully they haven’t found the originals and we keep passing them on, updating the maps, and making sure that as many people as possible know where the doors are and where they might take you to.”
“Why don’t you know that?” Sini asked Meriwether.
“I’ve never had a chance to study Leolin’s journals, although I did know they existed, and unless you talk to someone who has it isn’t information you’ll ever learn.” Meriwether rubbed his antler again. “I don’t know how I haven’t met someone before who’s read Leolin’s journals.”
“The journals aren’t easy to pass on,” Lucille replied, “although there has been several copies of the map that have been passed around the Moonjumper communities. Leolin wrote everything down, from the time his sister disappeared to the day he disappeared, and he was almost three hundred when that happened, so there are a lot of books. We want to keep them all together, because it makes more sense to read them from start to beginning, and sometimes someone will have them for a decade or more before they find someone to pass them onto.”
“Do you still have them? You mentioned they were passed on to you before and you’ve obviously read them.” Sini couldn’t help hoping that Lucille might pass them on to her, even though she wasn’t a Moonjumper. “They’re something that the people of Quiar would find very useful.”
“When the chance came to pass them on I jumped at it, because they would be going to a world I knew the Council couldn’t find them, and they have been making more of an effort in the last few years to finally destroy Leolin’s journals. They’ll be kept there until the fae back off once more.” Lucille smiled at Sini. “Fortunately I know where you can get a copy of the whole collection, if you really want one.”
“I thought the Council had destroyed them all.”
“So did they, but often they missed one or two and people would keep them safe until they found the other books in the collection, and it meant there were several complete collections hidden around the Web. Occasionally they’d be passed on as well, but the copies are no easier to pass on than the originals. My cousin owns one that has been passed down from generation to generation since the first Moonjumper in father’s side of the family found them.” Lucille sighed. “By that point I’d already read them, but it’s good to know I can go back to them at any time.” She shook her head. “My father’s family also realised that making copies they could pass on was a good idea, even if it was only one book at a time, so that other people could complete their collections, and I’m sure if I asked my cousin she’d be able to get her hands on at least three complete collections, one of which I could bring here. They’d be safe enough on Quiar.”
“Your cousin lives on Kniroch?”
“Some of them time. The rest of the time she lives on Oracle, because my father’s family has had a house there about as long as they’ve owned Leolin’s journals, and she feels safer there. A lot of the Knirochians who can travel to the sibling worlds spend a lot of their time being terrified that the fae will decide to eradicate them the same way they did the natural Moonjumpers.”
“Do you think the fae will make that decision?” Meriwether asked.
“I don’t know. With the fae anything is possible and I wouldn’t put it past them, but…” Lucille bit her lip. “I think someone in the settlements can see the other Webs.”
Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.