I'm pleased to see a disabled character here -- not many people write about them. Also you did a good job with the interaction between a blind and a sighted person.
>>The flame moves, especially when there's a breeze, so the light and shadows change regularly.<<
It would be better to say "constantly" or something like that, since the change is often but not regular.
>>“Zander is stood on the other side of the square<<
Delete "is" above.
>>You would have been a very different person of you'd chosen to stay at home<<
That should say "if" above.
I think this is my favorite episode of the advent story so far.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-12-31 06:20 pm (UTC)>>The flame moves, especially when there's a breeze, so the light and shadows change regularly.<<
It would be better to say "constantly" or something like that, since the change is often but not regular.
>>“Zander is stood on the other side of the square<<
Delete "is" above.
>>You would have been a very different person of you'd chosen to stay at home<<
That should say "if" above.
I think this is my favorite episode of the advent story so far.