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ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com

>>Part of her wanted to run away, because she didn't want to be at the Residence, and with every moment she spent there she could feel the building, maybe, or the people, trying to suck away her personality, so she became just another High, rather than the true High Priestess of Persephone.<<

Run-on sentence. I suggest:
"Part of her wanted to run away, because she didn't want to be at the Residence. With every moment she spent there she could feel the building, or maybe the people, trying to suck away her personality. Then she would become just another High, rather than the true High Priestess of Persephone."

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K. A. Webb

K. A. Webb Writing

July 2017

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