>>He'd just never stopped before to think what it would be like to not remember his sixth birthday party or the day he went to the beach and ended up with sunstroke.<<
That's a marvelous little detail.
>>“It would be nice to not have to deal with everything<<
Split infinitive: change to "nice not to have to deal" above.
>>Charlotte's father wants me to just follow the plan and take my AS exams this year, followed by doing A2 next year<<
I have enough British friends that I can follow some of this, but not everyone does. Since a lot of your readers are foreigners, you might consider footnoting some of the cultural tidbits. (You've seen me do that in some of my poems, and people seem to appreciate it.)
>>what might happen in a couple of months times.”<<
That should say "time" above.
This looks like a good place to conclude the current story, and consider launching a new one when Vitaly introduces Anna to his friends.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-12-30 03:35 am (UTC)>>He'd just never stopped before to think what it would be like to not remember his sixth birthday party or the day he went to the beach and ended up with sunstroke.<<
That's a marvelous little detail.
>>“It would be nice to not have to deal with everything<<
Split infinitive: change to "nice not to have to deal" above.
>>Charlotte's father wants me to just follow the plan and take my AS exams this year, followed by doing A2 next year<<
I have enough British friends that I can follow some of this, but not everyone does. Since a lot of your readers are foreigners, you might consider footnoting some of the cultural tidbits. (You've seen me do that in some of my poems, and people seem to appreciate it.)
>>what might happen in a couple of months times.”<<
That should say "time" above.
This looks like a good place to conclude the current story, and consider launching a new one when Vitaly introduces Anna to his friends.