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From:

ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com

>>taken on the responsibilty <<

That should say "responsibility" above.

>>Trying not to let herself worry she walked towards Margery's cottage, trying to look as though she was just going to look after an ill friend.<<

This sentence has two clauses that begin with "trying" -- it's better to delete one.

Overall, I like this story. Magical talents really can be overwhelming.

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K. A. Webb

K. A. Webb Writing

July 2017

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