This is another good development. I like the way it shows that vampires gain experience over time but it's still influenced by personal areas of expertise -- there will always be things a given person doesn't know.
>>Nick knew that he'd thought of something that would put a potential spanner in the works and that worried him. <<
This would parse better with a comma after "works."
>>“Lewis has been loaning money to humans for a very long time Nick.<<
This needs a comma after "time."
>>“What are you on about Issac? <<
This needs a comma after "about." Names are customarily set off with commas.
Thoughts
Date: 2011-09-01 04:28 pm (UTC)>>Nick knew that he'd thought of something that would put a potential spanner in the works and that worried him. <<
This would parse better with a comma after "works."
>>“Lewis has been loaning money to humans for a very long time Nick.<<
This needs a comma after "time."
>>“What are you on about Issac? <<
This needs a comma after "about." Names are customarily set off with commas.