The Donor House: Advent Story (part 15)

[k_a_webb]

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Part 10
Part 11
Part 12
Part 13
Part 14

Caleb watched as Lewis listened to what Blake was saying. Even though Lewis couldn’t possibly understand what either of them had been though he did try. That was something Caleb had always appreciated about him, because a lot of vampires didn’t want to hear about what they’d dealt with when they were addicts, and that was something he found he accepted more easily than he thought he would. As much as they wanted to help they weren’t capable of dealing with everyone else’s problems on top of their own, so a lot of the time it was simpler for them to do what needed to be done before going off to friends they did share problems with. It seemed to him that was why there were different groups who gathered together – he had his own, which included Lewis and Blake, as well as Georgie, Morgan, and Dom.

From what Caleb had seen often a new donor would spend the majority of time with whoever it was that ended up showing them around and then would become a part of their group. That was what happened with Morgan, when she first arrived, because Alice thought she would be best off with Georgie as her guide. If it hadn’t been for Alice’s decision Caleb probably wouldn’t have known Morgan, as she’d have become a part of a different group, and he wouldn’t even know who he’d missed out on having as a friend. He was just glad that she had become his friend. She’d always helped him with his addiction, even if that did mean taking him to the library again to see if they could find a new book one or other of them would be interested in or the games room, where people were always leaving games for others to try, in an attempt to keep his mind off how bad her was feeling.

That was why he’d always wanted another addict to realise that being at the House could really help them. Yes, it was full of vampires, and that was something Caleb had found the hardest thing to get used to, but they were good people. Even the ones who just wanted to help him without becoming his friend. All they’d ever wanted out of life was to become a part of a community, but the vampire they were changed by had wanted them to change too much, to let go of who they had been and embrace being something better, even though there were a lot of vampires who didn’t think that what they’d become was actually better. It was just different. Being a part of the House community was something that had changed him, although not as much as becoming an addict had.

“When she left me I remember feeling this mix of relief and grief, because I knew I’d never see her again,” Caleb said. “I was glad I’d never see her, but I knew what it meant – so I sat on a curb for a little while, trying to work out what my next step should be, as I knew what I’d become and I knew I was going to need help. Until I remembered the Donor House I had no idea where I was going to get it. In all honesty I have no idea why she left me in a place where I could come to the House, but then I don’t think she expected me to have the sense to actually plan things. Not when she knew how quickly I could go from being absolutely fine to needing her to bite me.” He swallowed the disgust he felt as he remembered asking her, pleading with her, to bite him, when she was staring at him as though he was nothing more than a bug she wanted to squash. “Walking here took me longer than I expected, which was why I was in such a state when I walked through the doors, but I got here. There are days when I still can’t believe that I managed to keep my aim in mind even when I was feeling as though my entire life was worth nothing to anyone. At one point I was really tempted to step out into the road and let a car end my misery.”

“I’m glad you kept going,” Blake said. “You’re someone who can give the rest of the addicts hope, because, even though we haven’t fixed your addiction, you are so much better than you were when you first arrived, and your rehabilitation was always going to take time. The fact your owner was so old doesn’t help, but I honestly do believe that we will be able to give you your life back.”

Caleb smiled. “I’ll have my life back even if I have to come to the House twice a day to have someone bite me. Going twelve hours between bites right now does seem impossible, but I really feel that will be the point when I won’t feel the need to fix myself any more, although I’ll still try to get to the point where I don’t need to be bitten ever again.”

“That’s something that may never happen,” Lewis replied, sounding sad. “I hope it will, but I think twelve hours might actually be the best we can do for you, Caleb. You’ve come so far already, even though you haven’t been here that long, that I hate saying something like that – it’s just important that you know there are limitations to how much we can help you, as you were hers.”

“Lewis, I know.” Caleb reached out and squeezed Lewis’ hand. “When I first told you who I belonged to I don’t think you really believed that you could help me, but that wasn’t going to stop you trying, and I will always appreciate that. You could have told me to leave, you could have said there was nothing you could do for me because I was too addicted, but you didn’t – you told me that you would do your best to make me better and that’s exactly what you have done. I can’t possible thank you, or Alice, or Blake, or the other vampires who have helped me, enough.”

“Caleb…” Lewis shook his head. “You’re right about what I was thinking when you first turned up. I didn’t think we would be able to help, but it’s your determination to change that’s been the reason we’ve been able to do so much. Without that you would still be in the same position you were when you first arrived and I have great respect for you.” He bit his lip. “Having you here is why I want to help people before this can happen to them, even though I know there are going to be people who will think that putting more money into the coffers of the auction vampires is a mistake, that we’re going to create a greater demand, and I know that they’re right, but I honestly believe that helping those who are in that position and may well end up dead if they’re bought by the wrong vampire is the most important thing.”

“Unfortunately, no matter what you end up deciding to do, it’s not going to be the right choice. In this situation I don’t think there is one.” Caleb ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he thought. “Humans will die if they aren’t bought by the right person. Both Blake and I have seen it happen. We’ve seen children die because a vampire was hungry and they didn’t care enough to think that it might be enough to kill the human. By buying them from the auction you may save them from that fate, but by doing that you’re putting money into the auctions and, possibly, creating a greater demand for younger slave. If you don’t help them they are either going to die or end up on the streets as addicts.” He shrugged. “I want to be able to give you an answer. I want to be able to tell you that buying the humans is the right thing to do. I want to be able to tell you that waiting is the right thing to do. The problem is I don’t know what the best option is. We can wait until the addicts are dumped to help them and, if you look at the bigger picture, that’s not so much of a problem, but by doing that you aren’t doing anything to help those who ended up dead.”

“Rock and a hard place.” Lewis sighed. “It’s something we’re going to be debating for a long time before we can possibly come to a decision and I don’t think that the decision can ever be the right one. Nick wants to bring an end to the auctions, because he hates them, but I don’t know if that’s possible. We all want it to be and yet I can’t help thinking that they’ll just go deeper underground, which will make it harder for us to find them and help those who need it. Even though we’re changing the world I don’t think we’ll be able to change the world that much. There are still going to be vampires who look down on us, because we chose to feed from willing donors; humans who hate us, because we bribe people with money to become donors; and addicts who can’t bring themselves to stay here, whether they want help or not, because the House is full of the very thing that they’re absolutely terrified of.”

“Honestly, Lewis, I think I’d rather help the humans who will end up becoming blood slaves before they die, even if that means paying the auction vampires money,” Blake said, and when Caleb looked at him it was obvious the deaths he’d been forced to cover up still haunted him. “Maybe that’s the wrong choice, but I’ve been owned by a vampire and I wish someone had been there to save me from him. Instead he made me an addict, he killed more of my fellow slaves than I like to remember, and when one of us tried to stake him when he was asleep he punished all of us, even though most of us had no idea what was going to happen. The horrible thing is I know I would have warned him if I knew in advance, so that we wouldn’t have all been punished, even if it meant I was.”

Caleb looked at Lewis and saw the same curiosity in his eyes, but neither of them would ask Blake how they were punished. When it came to vampires there were certain questions you never asked and it was the same with addicts. You never pushed someone into talking about something they probably weren’t ready to talk about, because they might never be ready, and sometimes asking the question would be enough to make them feel as though they should talk, no matter how they felt.

“So you don’t think that we should wait until we can take the humans without paying for them?” Lewis asked.

“No, I don’t, but I’m more personally involved, and you’re probably better off not asking my opinion. Ask Nick, Alice, John, Issac, anyone who hasn’t been through becoming a slave, because as far as I can tell there are always going to be vampires who want to own their humans and by buying some of them to get them out of the hands of the vampires who are going to abuse them all you’re doing is giving them a chance. If you don’t then we’re unlikely to be able to get them out of the danger that they’re in before something horrible happens to them.” Blake sighed. “I’d been with my owner for three days before I had to deal with my first party and that changed me more than I thought was possible, because I honestly believed I’d prepared myself as best I could for what was going to happen, but I realised that just wasn’t possible.”

Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.