11: AU Thear: Tabitha: Travelling to Thear

[k_a_webb]

The idea of travelling to a new planet was exciting. Tabitha was a part of the third group to make the journey to Thear. A year before the first group had travelled to the new planet, sending back information about what the planet was like and how they were making it habitable. Six months later the second group had gone. More messages were sent back about their new world that made it obvious more people should be sent there. For years the population had been growing and sending people to a new planet seemed logical, even though it was slightly scary.

Tabitha walked towards the space ship, carrying the one bag she was permitted to take with her, and didn’t look back. Her family had wanted to see her off, but that would make saying goodbye more difficult than she wanted it to be. It had been hard enough when she left the house, with her mum crying, her dad acting stoically, and her friends gathering together to see her off. Even though she would miss them, because they’d been a part of her life for a long time, she didn’t feel emotional about leaving them behind. Over the years she had come to the conclusion that she wasn’t like her family and a part of her really didn’t like them.

Other people had their families with them. A few of the girls were clinging to their mum’s or dad’s, sobbing, and she couldn’t understand why they weren’t looking forward to the move. Not only would it be good for the planet it would also be good for them, because they would be some of the first people to populate Thear, so they could make it their own. Shaking her head Tabitha kept walking, following two boys who were each carrying a backpack onto the ship.

“I don’t know,” one of them said, sounding like he was continuing a conversation. “Travelling to a new planet feels strange. Until I received that letter I had my whole life planned out and now…” He shook his head. “I’m excited, but at the same time I feel disappointed. Does that make sense?”

The other boy nodded. “I was glad I received a letter because I never really had any idea what I wanted to do with my life, but at the same time I can’t help wondering what I’m leaving behind.” He shrugged. “If I could have chosen this I think I would have done, even though I don’t really know what’s going to happen when we get there.”

“No one really knows what’s going to happen.” He turned to look at Tabitha. “How do you feel about moving to Thear?”

For a moment Tabitha just looked at him, because she hadn’t expected them to include her in their conversation. “I’m looking forward to making a new life there,” she replied, smiling at him. “Leaving everything behind and starting again feels like the right thing for me to do, although I’m like the two of you and have no idea what it’s really going to be like when we get there.”

Mirrored from K. A. Jones Writing.

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[ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com]

>>For years the population had been growing and sending people to a new planet seemed logical, even though it was slightly scary.<<

This would benefit from editing for clarity. I suggest something like:

"For years, the population had been growing. Sending people to a new planet seemed logical, even though it was slightly scary for those making the trip."

>> clinging to their mum’s or dad’s <<

Delete both apostrophes; plurals don't use any.

>>Not only would it be good for the planet it would also be good for them, because they would be some of the first people to populate Thear, so they could make it their own.<<

This stack of clauses would benefit from separation, such as:

"Not only would it be good for the planet, it would also be good for them. They would be some of the first people to populate Thear, so they could make it their own."

>> Shaking her head Tabitha kept walking,<<

That needs a comma after "head" above.

>> “If I could have chosen this I think I would have done, <<

This raises some serious plot questions. Why isn't this being done on a volunteer basis, instead of a draft? Are people chosen randomly (in which case they're likely to get poor results) or based on specific qualifications?

I have to think there's some huge drawback beyond simple distance, because humanity has spent much of its history thronging toward new frontiers. Needing to hold "an America wake" for the emmigrants never stopped the flood.