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The Deities’ World: Persephone: Talking to Callidora (part 2)
Callidora nodded. “I know, but I don’t want my interest in him to affect what you’re doing. By talking to him about how I feel I might affect whether he feels comfortable coming to the house and that’s another one of my worries, because I know how important it is that you all work together right now, so I’m just not sure what the best thing to do would be.”
“Loki’s old enough to have dealt with things like this before.” Persephone stood so she was next to her daughter and wrapped an arm around her waist. “He knows that the worlds always come first, so even if he did feel uncomfortable it wouldn’t affect him in such a way that he’d stop coming to work with the Thearans. Especially at the moment. What you need to think about, darling, is what is best for you, not what’s best for him, even though I know it’s hard. I remember doing the same thing when I was wondering whether I should ask Hades out and it took me a long time to decide that I needed to ask him, even if he did turn me down, because otherwise I’d never know.”
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you hadn’t asked him out?”
Persephone smiled. “Of course I do and I could show you, but I’m not certain you’re ready for that yet, Callie. Learning what the future could have held for me is something I don’t suggest you do until you can accept that you’re a natural Seer.” She shook her head. “Trust me, I know how hard it is, but being able to See isn’t really that bad. It can be hard to cope with at times, especially if you chose to become a deity of prophecy on any of the worlds you chose, and occasionally I can’t help wishing I made a different decision on Thear, although I was the only one of us who could. Hekate might have stayed, to be the Seer, if I hadn’t been willing to, but I knew she had other places to be, and there are only three other Seers who could have chosen to become the deity of prophecy on Thear.
“All three of them are busy being the deity of prophecy on some other world, where they’re needed just as much as I am on Thear. I could never have asked them to walk away from their duties because I know how important they are to the races that their working with. Being my daughter, and Hades’, means that you have inherited some abilities that I would never have given you if I had a choice, but I didn’t, and the time is coming when you need to decided if you’re going to use them or walk away, although walking away won’t make them magically fade away. You’ll still have them, you’ll still be able to use them if you wish to, and I always thought that would make things harder.
“However that was my choice. We aren’t the same person and I don’t want you to think that I’d be unhappy with you if you made a different choice to me. The last thing I want is for you to think that you could disappoint me, because that just isn’t possible, Callie. Before you were born we had no idea that we were going to have a daughter, but I hoped we would, and you have been more than I could ever have hoped for you to be. You’re becoming a wonderful deity, a beautiful woman, and when you are making decisions, no matter what they are, always put yourself first. That way you’ll be making the best choices that you can.” Persephone shook her head. “I have no idea how that turned into a pep talk, but it might have something to do with the fact I don’t make enough time for you.”
“Mum…”
“Callidora, we both know it’s true. You’re my only daughter and I don’t have enough time to spend with you at the moment, because I’m always working, and that isn’t fair. This is the most important time of your life, a time of decisions and stress, so I should be available more, the way Mum was for me.”
“It’s different.” Persephone felt Callidora take her hand and gently squeeze it. “Nan wasn’t in the middle of helping her people through one of their most difficult points in history and I know that right now that needs to come first. The people of Thear need you more than I do, but I’m certain that if I asked you for help you’d be there to give it, no matter what. I’m not as badly affected by you being busy as you seem to think I am.” She smiled. “You spent time with me when I was younger preparing me for this time, telling me that I needed to talk to as many deities as possible for as many pantheons as I call, which is exactly what Hekate is also telling me, so I am ready. Even though I’m terrified I’m ready.
“This isn’t a choice that’s going to be easy for me to make. It’ll take time and the other thing you told me was to take as much time as I needed. I have the rest of my life ahead of me, so giving myself a few extra months to make such a difficult decision is something I shouldn’t be scared of doing. To be really honest with you, Mum, I’m actually grateful that I have the puppies to take care of right now, because it means I’m happier taking the time. Otherwise I would be pushing myself. Even though I know that I should I would be. I want to be a deity, so much, but at the same time I don’t think I’m ready for that, and it’s trying to make those two things work together that is the hardest part.
“Wanting something and being ready for it are too different things. That’s part of the reason I haven’t spoken to Loki yet about my feelings for him. I know I want to be more than friends with him, but am I really ready to take our relationship that step further.” Callidora smiled. “Maybe I’m not, as I’m thinking more about him than I am about me, and I think that, if I was, it wouldn’t matter so much what his reaction is to me telling him. Then the worst thing he could do is say no.” She shrugged. “Right now I’m more scared of losing someone I’m close to by saying the wrong thing to him and as I feel that way I don’t think I’m ready to talk to him about this.”
Persephone nodded. “You’re smarter than I was.” She squeezed Callidora’s hand in return. “Even though I believed I was ready to have a relationship with Hades I never stopped to think that my fear might well mean that I wasn’t. I don’t know if it was because I was in a different position to you, as it wasn’t that long after Dad had moved on and I felt like I needed to make the move before something happened to either me or Hades to mean that I no longer could.” She sighed. “I don’t think I ever talked to you about that.”
Mirrored from K. A. Webb Writing.