ext_3219 (
ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
k_a_webb
2014-02-18 05:32 am (UTC)
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>> but did she have the skill to defeat two assassins, even with what limited help Bertram could be. <<
That needs a question mark at the end.
>> The female platypi created an illusion <<
That should say "platypus" above.
>> from the male platypi somehow <<
That should say "platypus" again.
>> looking as though he was blinking away unwanted tears, but I have a feeling <<
That needs a quote mark in front of "but" above.
>> “No, it wasn’t lucky, it was planning, Bertram, the same way making you carry charms that you could use was planning.” <<
AWESOME! Now that is how to write a strong female character. Plan ahead.
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That needs a question mark at the end.
>> The female platypi created an illusion <<
That should say "platypus" above.
>> from the male platypi somehow <<
That should say "platypus" again.
>> looking as though he was blinking away unwanted tears, but I have a feeling <<
That needs a quote mark in front of "but" above.
>> “No, it wasn’t lucky, it was planning, Bertram, the same way making you carry charms that you could use was planning.” <<
AWESOME! Now that is how to write a strong female character. Plan ahead.