ext_3219 ([identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] k_a_webb 2014-02-18 05:32 am (UTC)

Feedback

>> but did she have the skill to defeat two assassins, even with what limited help Bertram could be. <<

That needs a question mark at the end.

>> The female platypi created an illusion <<

That should say "platypus" above.

>> from the male platypi somehow <<

That should say "platypus" again.

>> looking as though he was blinking away unwanted tears, but I have a feeling <<

That needs a quote mark in front of "but" above.

>> “No, it wasn’t lucky, it was planning, Bertram, the same way making you carry charms that you could use was planning.” <<

AWESOME! Now that is how to write a strong female character. Plan ahead.

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
(will be screened if not validated)
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting