ext_3219 ([identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] k_a_webb 2012-09-11 09:29 am (UTC)

Feedback

No typos spotted.

>>Family ties faded when the fae were working on the new worlds, because they had very little choice but to work together, and when the group realised they really were trapped it was both a good and a bad thing. It meant not having to ignore the ties of friendship, and more, that had evolved, but it did also mean that they would never see their families or old friends again. <<

Wow. So beautiful, and so painful. That would be a story worth telling. Maybe try this in first-person, for the impact?

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