ext_3219 ([identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] k_a_webb 2011-12-31 09:53 pm (UTC)

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>>something we've never have to do before<<

That should say "had" above.

>>“I'm guessing there's probably people living there. <<

That should say "there are" above.

>>“During my training I spent hours talking to the other healers about why so many women die in childbirth,<<

Behind the scenes, it's worth figuring out exactly what the problem is -- there's probably a prevailing version, although it may be different for the three races. Some major causes of maternal death are listed here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maternal_death

>>there have been sixteen generations of...” He shook his head. “...interbreeding.”

Sophia nodded. “It's not a nice thing to think about, but that's what the priests want. They have been working towards everyone being pure blood Uisdro and those who believe what the priests say are happy to do what they are told to.”<<

This needs to be reworked for clarity. What most people prefer is endogamy, marriage within a single group, which tends to lead to inbreeding, too close a relationship among breeders. But because the records were destroyed and many people are unaware of their mixed heritage, what they're getting -- at least in some cases -- is interbreeding.

>>Either their parents or their priest has told them <<

That should say "priests have" for best match of plurality.

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