ext_3219 ([identity profile] ysabetwordsmith.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] k_a_webb 2011-12-30 10:34 pm (UTC)

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I like this story. The world walkers are intriguing. I look forward to reading more about them.

>> she had the thirt-fourth tattoo <<

That should say "thirty-fourth" above.

>>Smiling again at the thought of finally travelling to one of the worlds she studied she started walking towards the front door.<<

Add a comma after "studied" above.

>>Lucille coudn't help looking<<

That should say "couldn't" above.

>>It seemed strange that she still looked the same way she had on the day she started her studies, although she was probably a little taller, and decided that it was time to change something.<<

Good idea, actually -- that's a common custom for marking important milestones in life. Often a person will change their hairstyle, but sometimes it's something else. Tattoos are popular in some cultures, but she already has those and seems to be looking for something else.

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