Heliopath (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Heliopath): clever naming although we don't see him galloping or burning anything.
"A Heliopath is allegedly a spirit of fire which gallops and burns anything in its path."
He didn't know if they would be more likely to follow him if they knew who he really was or if they were less likely.
I had to read this three times to sort out what you were trying to say. Maybe better to write: "He didn't know if they would be more or less likely to follow him if they knew who he really was or if they were less likely."
In paragraph three the phrase "withdrawal symptoms" leapt out at me and distracted me from the rest of the text because you use it more than once.
"argumant" should be 'argument'.
Isn't it interesting how Ysabet and I see different things in prose? ;-p
no subject
"A Heliopath is allegedly a spirit of fire which gallops and burns anything in its path."
I had to read this three times to sort out what you were trying to say. Maybe better to write: "He didn't know if they would be more or less likely to follow him if they knew who he really was
or if they were less likely."In paragraph three the phrase "withdrawal symptoms" leapt out at me and distracted me from the rest of the text because you use it more than once.
"argumant" should be 'argument'.
Isn't it interesting how Ysabet and I see different things in prose? ;-p